Persian Rugs

Persian Rugs

A Story by Jack Kennedy
"

One of those stories...

"
A group of kids are riding on their bikes,  following each other around in circles.
The sun is setting and little rain sprinkles fall from the clouds.
"It's supposed to storm tonight, Brad. Do you think we should call this off until tomorrow?"  says one of the boys.
Brad, the self-appointed leader, calls for a halt when he  realizes what he has heard.
He looks at each one of the boys individually.
"We're missing one. Hey, Tom where's Val?" Brad asked.
"I don't know, he wasn't at home this morning so he probably went with his Granddad for the weekend." Tom answered back.
It's no secret that Val's dad is the neighborhood drunk and that he likes to rough up Val and his mom.
"Let's go to his house and see if he came back home yet" Brad said.


Brad leads the group of six down the block, and make a couple of left and right turns. Cars pass by, honking their horns at the group. Brad ignores the cars, flipping them off with a sinister smile.
Jodye, the newest member of the group, looks upon Brad with hesitance and amusement. Jodye was always more of a follower than a leader. Brad and his group, called the Terrors, pull into the driveway of Val's house. In the setting sun, they notice that Val's mom's van is parked in the driveway. 
Brad hops off his bike to head up to Val's house. The Terrors members Washington, David & Morgan accompany Brad on Val's front porch.


Jodye and Jennifer (the only girl in the group) stay behind to watch over the bikes. 
"You think we are important enough for the group Jen?" Jodye asks with a real puzzled look.
Jennifer looks at him for a moment "Important enough I'd like to think."
Brad knocks on the door,  interrupting their conversation. 
"He's probably not home or just avoiding us for today. Let's just go." Brad says.
The Terrors walk away but are interrupted by the sound of the front door creaking open,  stopping them. Val pokes his head out of the door.
"Hey guys, I'm sorry but my dad says he doesn't want me hanging out with you guys as much anymore." 
Brad looks in disappointment "Look Val we can hang out whenever you can come out okay.  Just promise me that if your dad is hurting you that you call us, then we can help."
Val opens his mouth to reply but is cut off by a loud crash. Jodye hears the noise. "Jennifer come with me." Jodye demands.
The two run up the long hill to the front door, through the wide open front door the Terrors watch on as Val's dad throw plates at the wall. 
"F**k you Angie and this house and that damn boy. You all are a cancer to me and my happiness." Val's dad shouts out in pure anger.


Listening to him you can tell he's drunk by his slurred speech and blunt quotes. Val's dad, Larry, is starting to grab Val's mom, Angie, by her shoulders slamming her against the wall.
Over and over again she slams into the now dented wall.
"Stop dad, please stop." Val yells, crying in fear.
Brad, tries to intervene. He jumps on Larry's back which only pisses the drunk b*****d off even more.
Larry slams Brad to the ground on top of some glass pieces.
The rest of the Terrors except Val jump in the brawl. Each do their best to tame Larry with each attempt going nowhere fast.
Washington and Jennifer each cling on to Larry's legs, and Brad and Jodye grab each of his arms. Angie grabs a fire place poker in the midst of the struggle and hits Larry on top of his head.
Larry is in a daze but not out. Angie follows the hit up with three more brutal strikes. Larry soon falls to the ground with his head split wide open.
The Terrors are shocked to see Larry bleeding profusely and no apparent sign of his breathing. 
They all stand around his body on the floor, to gather breaths and thoughts.
"Is he dead?" David asks.
No one replies.
"Well mom is he?" Val demands with his voice cracking in the process.


Angie takes a look at the front door "Close the door! Fast!" 
Jennifer does so very quickly. Washington drops down to check Larry's pulse. 
"I don't feel anything. I think he's dead." Washington says with a scared look on his face.
"We're murderers man. We are all going down for murder." David screams.
The Terrors all start yelling and screaming at each other, blaming each other for what happened here.
"Everyone calm the f**k down." Jodye screams.
Silence falls over the room.
"Jodye is right you guys, arguing won't bring Larry back from the dead or get our asses out of this. Larry was a horrible man and this was bound to happen." Angie says calm and smoothly. 
"Mom how could you say that about dad. I love him, he wasn't always like this." Val says to his mom, tears running from his red eyes.



"We can't just stand here people there is a dead a*****e on the ground and he won't just disappear from small talk." Jennifer says.
The group decides that she is right and they plan how to get rid of the body.
The group picks the body up and eases it on top of a Persian rug. The body is then covered in plastic and wrapped into the Persian rug.
Angie makes a quick plan and give each member they're respective roles. 
First she tells them to call each of their parents so that they could spend the night over. 
The calls go successful as each are allowed to stay.
Second she tells Washington and Tom to gather everyone's bike and put them in the garage.
Third she tells David and Val to stay and clean up all the blood and sweep up the glass respectively.
Fourth she tells Jodye, brad and Jennifer to help her carry the body into the Van.


All of the plans go accordingly as Angie, Jodye, Brad and Jennifer drive off in the woods to dispose of the body.
"Make sure if the police ask anything about Larry just say he came home drunk and threw around a few plates and left. That's it that's all, got it!" Angie demands.
Everyone complies and wonder because they've never been out this far before in the woods before.
They walk deeper in the abyss of the woods. Venturing so further and further in that only Jennifer notices the slow but hard rain drops.
Brad looks around "that seems like a nice spot." He says looking to hurry up and finish the deed.
Jennifer and Angie look around while Jodye and Brad start digging. 
A hour passes by until Angie decides the hole was big enough for the body to buried in.


The push the close to the whole until Jennifer interrupts "hey there's a house over there."
Angie stares over to see the big place in the far distance. 
"Hey Jodye, take Jennifer and you two go over to the house and see if anyone's home." Angie instructs.
Jodye looks at Jennifer in caution as they walk over to the way of the house.
The two have a long walk ahead of them as the house is a far distance away.
Brad looking at the body gathers a quick thought and says "hey Angie did you check his wallet."
"For what, the drunk b*****d probably blew all his money on booze." She dismisses.
Curiously brad decides to check the pockets anyways but he must unwrap him from the rug.
He does so but not until a bloody hand wraps around his neck.
Larry was still alive somehow and he starts to yell for help.
Seeing Larry scares Angie to where she almost starts to run but stops in dead her tracks and look at the struggle between Larry and brad.


Back on the house David, Washington and Val clean the house and talk about what happened.
The house still pretty much a mess but looks a hell of allot better than before.
The blood is all clean but there is still shattered glass in areas of the house and the wall looks like a truck ran into from when Larry slammed Angie into it.
Val lays on the couch still very much shocked about what happened and the fact that his father is dead and no one will ever know about it.
A knock breaks the flow of the cleaning.
"Are they back yet?" Tom asks. "Its about time because this is taking forever."
Washington walks to the door but stops for a moment "wouldn't have Angie used her key?" 
The three pause for a moment to think about who might it be at the door. 
"Look through the peephole Washington." David says in a smart a*s tone.
Washington looks through it and to his shock it was a policeman.
"Oh god you guys its a cop." Washington says as he backs up slowly.


"Well answer it because we don't want any one suspicious of is right now." David says trying to make a point.
Washington looks at David and Val "look guys they don't know we're here and Angie's car is gone so he might think no ones home."
The three stare at the door as the knocking ceased. 
"Finally used some smarts there Washington." David says in a joking manor.
Val lays back down on the couch as a single tear rolls down his cheek.


Jodye and Jennifer finally make it to the creepy house. 
Seeing no cars in the drive way and the pitch black windows they assumed it was abandoned. 
The house looks like one of those big haunted houses on Scooby Doo or the one on house on a haunted hill.
The two stare at each other and back at the house for a little while. 
"Maybe we should head back and get to helping Angie and brad." Jennifer suggests.
Jodye tells her "I'm right with you because this house is very eerie."
The two leave but don't notice the door creaking open very slowly.


The struggles continue as Larry gains the upper hand. 
"Angie help me!" Brad yells in desperation. She finally snaps out of her shock and whacks Larry with a shovel knocking out or finally killing him for good this time.
Brad reaches into his back pocket and recovers Larry's wallet. He looks through seeing that it has two hundred dollars inside.
Angie pushes Larry's body into the hole. The two start burying him but Larry still moves around signaling that he's still alive.
"He's still breathing Angie." Brad says to an unresponsive Angie. 


Larry starts to spit dirt at them but is too weak to escape.
As they bury him alive Jodye and Jennifer eventually make it to the burial in time for the finishing touches.
Angie cover the plot with branches and bushes. She spreads out random rocks and other various items laying around.
The four gather in the van leaving the sight and leaving the memory of Larry behind as well.
As the van speeds off, a man in the distance behind the tree is standing there with a look of shock and surprise.
He watches as the van speeds off in a rush.
The man walks over to the spot where Larry was buried alive. He gazes at the sight for a while until he notices Larry's wallet on the ground.
Brad must have accidentally dropped it while they were burying Larry.
The man picks up the wallet and finds Larry's license. The man takes the card out and puts the wallet in his back pocket.
Analyzing the ID, he then starts to stare in the distance as a smile possesses his face.


The four make it back to the house in one piece. Angie leads the others to the front door and inside the house.
Inside, Angie gets a warm embrace from Val while Jodye, Jennifer and Brad get their embraces from the terrors.
After hours of talking and planning everyone goes to sleep and all the lights are turned off.
Jodye and Jennifer sleep in the same room as Angie on an air mattress while brad and Washington sleep in the guess bedroom (one on the floor and the other in the bed respectively).


Val, Tom and David sleep in Val's room. In the depths of the night a crash into Angie's window awakens her and Jennifer.
Angie leaps out of her bed and to the smashed window. She looks out to find nothing but the violent rainstorm. 
Jennifer looks for what smashed into the window. 
"Angie I found a brick." Jennifer says with wonder.
Angie picks up the brick to find that it attached a note.
It only read "I saw everything".
After reading it Angie says " someone was watching us."
Horror filled,the faces of Jennifer and Jodye who has just awoken and realized what is going on.
The three rush to wake up Brad and they walk downstairs to discuss who might have seen what happened.
They step into the living room to find the man from the woods standing right there in front of them with an emotionless face.

To Be Continued...

© 2014 Jack Kennedy


Author's Note

Jack Kennedy
I hope everything is clear and cohesive! I didn't like the ending and open to suggestions on how to end it but I might make a sequel...

Well enjoy and life you see ANY mistakes or suggestions of ANY kind let me know!

Take Care

My Review

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Featured Review

nice work. i will read the second part when it's up. thanks for the request. Maybe instead of saying.Angie picks up the brick to find that it attached a note. try... Angie picked up the brick. (insert description, a piece of paper fell from it. Just suggesting maybe keep the reader in suspense instead of outright telling them what happened, make it happen little bits at a time. the note fell off in Angie's hand... she unfolded it, her eyes turned white and her skin yellowed a bit.
just a suggestion to draw readers in. appreciate the read!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jack Kennedy

9 Years Ago

Thank you for the suggestion and sorry for the late reply



Reviews

I really like this write, very interesting. :-)

Kaze~

Posted 9 Years Ago


Not bad, but as the last reviewer Ranger K said, some parts of it should be kept in suspense so one is eager to read more. Other than that, this is a FAB piece. Can't wait to read more.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Jack Kennedy

9 Years Ago

I will keep that in mind for the second part for sure! Thanks for reading it
This is very good. I think you should re-read it and take out some repeating words (words that you use more than once really close together) and I think you can flesh this out and maybe use less indents. But other than formatting issues (that are probably just me) this was very well done and I cant wait to read more :)

If you have time please review my Chapter one for Ash to Ash. I really need good advice on it.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Jack Kennedy

9 Years Ago

Thank you very much for the review and I'm glad you read this!

I will as soon as I can
Taylor_McCutcheon

9 Years Ago

No problem :) You are very welcome
First off, please let me know when you have the rest of this posted!

Second, I really enjoyed this story. You have great creativity and imagination and know how to keep your readers hooked and entertained. I certainly enjoyed it!

~Stefanie

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jack Kennedy

9 Years Ago

I sure will!

Thank you for reading and reviewing
This has so much potential of becoming a book.

Keep writing! I was drawn in!

There are a few grammatical errors, but over all, it was fine. (:

Complete this! I'll keep reading!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jack Kennedy

9 Years Ago

Thank you! I will find/fix them very soon! Take Care
Luna Zerimar

9 Years Ago

You're welcome!
Interesting story, well done. my only addition would be to suggest a bit more life to the characters. The characters are slightly flat and blend together.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jack Kennedy

9 Years Ago

Thank you for that, I will definitely add to them
nice work. i will read the second part when it's up. thanks for the request. Maybe instead of saying.Angie picks up the brick to find that it attached a note. try... Angie picked up the brick. (insert description, a piece of paper fell from it. Just suggesting maybe keep the reader in suspense instead of outright telling them what happened, make it happen little bits at a time. the note fell off in Angie's hand... she unfolded it, her eyes turned white and her skin yellowed a bit.
just a suggestion to draw readers in. appreciate the read!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jack Kennedy

9 Years Ago

Thank you for the suggestion and sorry for the late reply
First, a couple small things I noticed right off:
I suggest editing this bit: "They walk deeper in the abyss of the woods. Venturing so further and further in that only Jennifer notices the slow but hard rain drops." I might word it "They walk deeper in the abyss of the woods, venturing so far in that only Jennifer notices..." etc.
I noticed "whole" where it should be "hole" and "guess" instead of "guest."

Personally I see nothing wrong with the story itself. It's very engaging and imaginative. Although I can't exactly put my finger on why, it reminds me of Stephen King's writing. And I do like the ending. Really well done!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jack Kennedy

9 Years Ago

Thank you for the word checks! I will fix them asap and thanks for reading/reviewing this as well. M.. read more
This is very interesting, Maria had sent me a rough draft of your writing a while ago, and I had sent back a number of suggestions through her, did not know who the young writer was that she was talking to. As soon as I read the first lines, I said, hey, I know this story.
I am pleased to see you used many of the ideas I passed on, this reads much better now, and is an interesting story.
Well written, and has potential to be expanded on.
Keep it up.


Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jack Kennedy

9 Years Ago

It will be continued soon and thanks for dropping by and the help on it as well!

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Added on June 14, 2014
Last Updated on June 14, 2014
Tags: I, Don't, Know, Persian, Rugs

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Jack Kennedy
Jack Kennedy

Pell City, AL



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