Mine and yours' design.

A Story by QueenElizabeth

The usual ramble of ones' lost lover.

You know it came to a point when I started to believe all of my jokes. My sarcasm. When I really started to believe he could be the one. When I really fell madly in love with him. When I started to really think about what I was saying was when i got sucked into the twitterpation tornado. I could not see reason. I could not see anyone. I almost wonder if i damaged my other relationships or opportunities from some other things because he was the only i could see. When i am focused on something, When i make my mind up it's hard to unravel it. It takes a lot. When something or someone is the only thing i see everything changes and I’m aggressive with it. I don't let it slip. When I want something I rarely give up or let go. I am with it till the end. I don't always take no for an answer. All those love songs on the radio didn't help either. They entangled me and kept me on the emotional roller coaster feeling all sorts of things that I have never felt before. It was like I could see everything about him. I could see his lows and his highs. It was like everything about him seemed to gravitate towards me. Like I had built an almost a magnetic field unconsciously and everything around me seemed to bring up new things about him. And when I thought I was done with him, the universe would almost seemingly bring him up again. And you know it almost seemed like he liked me too. Even when the twitterpation had done its damage and finally wore off it felt like I had really knew him. Without even having to speak to him really. To have that connection to a person, or even if I was imagining it was nothing short of mind blowing. When I would ask for a “sign” I would usually get it. All of the coincidences kept coming. It also came to a point when coincidences become very real and they aren’t just coincidences anymore. It's almost like if I may say without being sacrilegious or anything that God wanted them to happen. Like the universe planned on him sticking around more. It’s sad to say but also amazing to say that he was the closest I got to a fairytale. It was like I was reading my own life story number one seller 20 years from now. I could feel the deepening importance of all of these moments gaining more and more momentum. It was like I was in higher grounds. Even though I knew it wouldn't work out I felt a sense of something bigger than me. I felt like things outside of me were getting put together right before my very eyes. I could connect dots and predict what would happen next when I layed in bed at night thinking about the days to come. It exercised my faith in something outside of myself. For things to happen that seemed impossible happen. So many things I thought were impossible were made possible and then happened. It were some of those moments that helped me see what I was truly capable of. What I could really do. I could overcome the extreme fear of shooting for someone that I thought was above me. I could still be successful with all the hype that I put in my mind. That someone could like the aggressive go getter type of person I am. That even after all of my screw-ups, mistakes and awkwardness, something could work out. In a way it worked out. Usually things of this great of magnitude never work out like I expect them to. Usually the greatest things in my life were things that I never would've pictured to work out like they did. Never would've even visualized it. It made me fall in love with the unexpected the unknown factor of everyone's life. It made me fall in love with change. It has shed vasts amounts of light on my challenges and how I view them. It shows that it will work out. I've been proven wrong (and thank goodness) time and time again that horrible and unfortunate and even unexpected things can turn out okay. And sometimes even more than okay. Fantastic. Amazing. Wonderful. Beautiful. Whole again. It showed me that in the end all things work together for your good. Its why I can take change, heartbreak, unknown, in stride so well. I thank God for this huge experience in my life, and for you having been in it without even knowing or being even conscious about it or unconsciously knowing about it. It's strange how people can affect you even when you haven't even met. How you can know someone and they have no idea about you. It's amazing how many lives we can touch. How great humans can really be. What we can really accomplish. How vast the word possible is and how small the word impossible is to us. When we stretch ourselves every day we can look back and see how far we have stretched like a rubber band stretching and holding everything together. We can look back and say because I did this I can now do this or because I did this I was able to do this. It things like these that inspire us to do more. That you really can be the person on the platform with all the confetti in the air around and your hands up in the air. Like movies that make you feel alive and make you want to go do something wild they don't just happen in movies. They happen all around us. We just don't always recognize them. We don't see them as highlight reels in the moment. But when you look back you can and will see all that stretching and shoving against your own personal barriers and comfort zones was worth it. Everything you went through was amazing. It was everything you needed. It was everything you needed and more. It was part of a design you couldn't quite fathom right then. It was made for you to succeed. To redefine your limits and expectations. To redefine impossible. It was uniquely, individually all made for you.