Talamh Óir

A short story written for English Class.

It was yet another boring day in the medieval hamlet of Aon Rud. Not even one witch was found! It just seemed that everyone should have stayed home and done nothing the whole day, because nothing at all was going to happen that day.

Then again, no one expected for trouble to roll into town, and that trouble was named Erwyn, Erwyn Fae.

The guard at the town gate was in for a sight as she strolled down the dirt road towards the gate.

Her hair - a wild mess of auburn waves - was pulled back in a long braid, draped over her shoulder and going down to her waist, her hazel eyes seeming as if they were looking for something to get into trouble.

She finally got to the gate and called up to the guard in a loud voice, very odd for a female of the times. "Guard! I wish to enter the village!"

"On what grounds?" the guard called back, curious as to the appearance of the newcomer. Never before had he seen a woman clad in men's trousers, boots, and shirt.

"I am just passing through! Though, you might want to hurry! I made a few bandits mad back in the woods, and I know not how close they are!"

After a few agonizing moments of waiting, Erwyn almost thought she would be denied to come inside, but relief flooded over her as it opened.

Needless to say, her behavior caused much of an uproar in the little town, especially after she had gone to the tavern for a few ales.

After a minor argument with the tavern's owner, she was thrown out, skidding a bit on the cobblestone street. Brushing herself off, she mumbled rudely under her breath, scowling at the ground.

Just as she had started to walk down the street, only lit by the lanterns lining the street, she heard a familiar voice call out to her. 

"Miss! I believe you did drop something!" called the guard from earlier, who had just gotten off duty.

Upon hearing these words, Erwyn turned around and faced him, seeing him hold up an intricate silver key, which almost seemed to glow in the lanterns' light. Not even a moment later, she had sprinted back and grabbed the key.

"Thank you, erm... I know not your name," she frowned.

"Albion Huntsman, miss," he said quietly. "Do forgive me, but, what would a traveler want with a key? What would you need it for?"

An annoyed grimace crossed her visage for a brief moment before she held up the key, looking him in the eye. "This," she started, pointing at the key, "is the key to what the Christians and Crusaders call 'Eden', but in old religion legends, it's the key to 'Talamh Oir'."

The guard raised an eyebrow at her statement.

"Talamh Oir?"

Erywn grinned wildly and nodded, putting the key in her pocket.

"It's filled with all the riches you could desire! They've even said you can see lost loved ones there, but, I don't know if that is true."

The guard glanced at the ground for a bit, then nodded, "So that is where you are travelling to?"

"Yes, it is."

"I see," he hesitated, "Would you be opposed to having company on your journey?"

"Oh, yes, very. I very much would be. Have a good night, Albion!" she called out as she walked down the street, waving before turning a corner and disappearing from sight.

Reviews

[78Jon]

Where was HArry Potter and the magical dragons!?

[Justin]

that was really amazing, it is has a little bit of everything in it!!!! i liked it :)

[charlie]

Quite a lot of dialogue... This seems like it would be a good intro to a story with a little more length. So far, so good, but your story could really do with another 40 to 50 lines. Atleast.
On what you've written so far, I say "well done"

[shelbylugal]

More please! This is a very interesting idea for a book, I think you should continue! It Talamh Oir a real thing, or is it of your own creation? Either way, it's a unique idea that could have a lot of potential to it!

Your main character sounds very interesting and intriguing. She seems like a mysterious, old time bad a**! I'd love to see her more characterized (is that a real word? lol) Anyway, how does she walk? Is it somewhat of a saunter, does she strut, is it like slow creep? How about her voice? You said she yelled up to the guard, is her voice smooth and sexy still (think Angelina Jolie) or more along the lines of a typical young adult (loud, average)? Give her some sort of appeal that makes the reader want to relate and be like her, or maybe even want certain characteristics because I feel like this is a girl to be feared for some reason.

Anyway, Keep it up! Can't wait to read more!

[A. Amos]

Compelling and enjoyable read. Well done!