CONFUSION

I recently found this first real poem I had written 40+ years ago, in my mid teens. So, I hulled it out, dusted it off, revised it a little bit, and am now posting it here.

CONFUSION




Confusion began when I met a guy,
My brother thought I should know.
He said he'd never have forgotten me.
Smiling eyes began to glow.

Later, he took me for a nice long ride.
Shyness slowly slipped away.
The friendly way we talked, made me forget,
We had only met that day.

At my door, he gently bent and kissed me.
How it set my heart aglow!
Our eyes met; he asked if I loved him too.
Quite simply, I did not know.

We dated each other several days.
I felt happy as could be.
Still I did not know if I loved him so.
Heart....mind....like a swirling sea.

My tender heart, and head were still reeling,
That one warm, romantic day,
When he stopped the car on a country road,
 Passion carried us away.

I resisted him, to gain his respect.
It was him I tried to please.
But, instead of saying he understood,
He called me a cruel tease.

Feeling very hurt, shocked, and bewildered,
My tears asked why he'd say that.
He just coldly glared, and frigidly said,
"You've a built in thermostat!"

Then he quickly drove me home in silence,
With no argument nor fight.
Sped away from my house, without a word,
Or even a kiss goodnight.

After that incident, he didn't call.
Never heard from him at all.

It was so hard to pound into my head,
Sweet romance, now cold and dead.

My aching heart wonders, "Do I love him?"
Then deeper thoughts start to flow.
While a crush explodes...hot...like a nova,
True love takes longer to grow.

As I sift through the ashes, I wonder,
Why, am I tortured inside?
In my reflecting, I soon discover,
E'en strangers can hurt my pride.

He was an acquaintance of my brother.
But, so all doubt disappears;
I'd only recently met him...just felt,
Like I had known him for years.

(c)Ellen Hammond

Author's Note

Please be gentle, I was still very young and naive when I penned it.

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

I really liked this ,you were just right in what you did ..but he never was
i dont know but i feel like you regret what you did ,and feel sorry..
but it was not your side to be wrong..
I dont know,but i think we should never expand on the past ,but dream of the future
This is filled with lovely feelings..
lovely write..

[THERISA]

How can i be cruel
When you were
Only a babe
Learning your way
Around the block.

If this boy
Had been real
And caring to you
He would understand
Your feelings of confusion
Without taking his hurt
Out upon your spirit.

Consider this
A hard lession won
Allowing you
To meet a truer and greater love.

Thoughts, which crossed my mind, while reading the poem. Thank you, for sharing these memories and poetry with us.

[Manyfacets]

This is just the sweetest! It is nice to see something like this. Young people aren't like that anymore. And that's too bad. I loved it! Smiles M.

[Anthony M Smith Jr]

Young love and this guy was a jerk! Just imagine, by your actions you saved yourself future grief for a relationship should be a two-way street. Too find a un-selfish and respectful human being today is like impossible.
TT-TTO-NI-K
Elk

[Glenna.]

I can't really see how someone could be critical about this at all! You did a fantastic job at it and I really enjoyed reading it. The poem has the sort of voice of someone young, but they also sound very artistic and mature.

I truly enjoyed reading this.
:)

[Lizanne]

You were a very mature young lady when you penned this! Wonderfully done. I admire this piece. I think jjust about all of us have lived it. I know I did on a very dark, isolated road. But heck yes, it felt wonderful to say no, to the put out or get out theme. I only wish I knew then what I know now about how dangerous a situation like that can turn on you. You penned a great work in this poem. I am adding this to my library as a favorite.

[Sean Allen]

Oh Ellen, this was the most beautiful love poem that I have ever read, I truly loved it.
I met my wife 40- years ago and she resisted me in exactly the same way after a few dates.

I called her a cruel tease and all kinds of other things... but I kissed her goodnight... and called her back.

[ljc]

a touching poem. Sounds like at the time you didn't know the fella's character and that he was not worthy of your affection or admiration. As you describe in your poem he was a friend of your brother's so based on this credit you felt he must be of a nicer character. His response sounded very callous, self centered and immature. Perhaps this was your "bitten once, twice shy"
You handled the material impressively in your poem. Your ability to analyze the experience is also impressive. Thanks for sharing this sweet lesson early learned.

[BABSIE BEE]

Ahhhh....Those teenage years when everything seems so different in comparison to now, when maturity takes over and decisions are so differently made....mostly for the best !!!
It sounds like you were a very sweet girl and have matured to a very lovely woman....one of God,s angels on earth !!
I don.t think for a second that you experienced Love with this chap only a short lovely teenage romance.... One lives and learns.
Thanks for sharing your memory.
Babsie Bee xxx

[Phoenix]

'Confusion' is the PERFECT title for this! It seems you get nothing else while you're a teenager, especially. I only have one poem that tells a story, and I know it's not easy. So tell your teenage self, great work!

[Anita B Jacques]

My dear friend, you already had wisdom in your youth. I love your poem, I remember those days, so vulnerable and easily hurt I'm glad he left as he did, short and sweet. I enjoyed reading your poem very much, thank you.
God Bless you
Love and frendship
Annie