Monsters in the Mirror

This poem is a sad poem, written from the point of view of a young girl. It's not very good, i wrote it in like 10 mins, but i'm looking for advice on how to improve so :)

I'm seeing stars again

Bright burning stars 

Stars that shine with extraordinary radiance 

Those stars are in your eyes 

They make your face look dark 

I'm afraid

They give you shadows 

Shadows that cover your smile 

Although your eyes are bright

Your smile is sad

And i didn't understand 

Because i thought you were happy

But somewhere between yesterday and today

And summer and winter 

They just went out, one by one

And they never came back

 

Now the life in your eyes has gone as well

They just look tired

And sadder than they did before 

They don't shine, at least not with stars

But at least i can see your smile now

You have a radiant smile

A smile that intermittently 

looks a little too happy

When i asked 

If you were okay

you pulled on your jumper sleeves

And your smile faltered for just an instant 

I was scared

I didn't know why

I didn't comprehend 

I was only young

It was one of our last days

When you were sitting alone

Your tears dripping on your book

As you tried to stop your hands from shaking

I put my arms around you 

Like one would put their arms around a child 

Your tears continued 

And you shook 

Now you only had a few days left

And i fell over

A fiery pain creeping up my leg 

And my blood spilled on the path in front of you  

It was the first time

Id ever seen you take your jumper off

And you wrapped it around me 

Not caring in that moment that i could see your skin

It was shining with lines

Long white lines that criss-crossed 

Across your arms and your wrists 

Your shoulders and back 

And you asked me if i was okay

I should have been the one asking you

But the drawings on your skin

Mesmerized me

They were the kind of drawings

You did at 3am

In the hope you wouldn't be caught 

Because the pain would make you finally feel something 

I could see the lines 

Disappearing 

Beneath your shirt

And i asked you what happened

You told me you were attacked

By a monster filled with hate 

Who was tall with dull brown eyes

And was hurting more than anything

And you never explained to me

Why the monster

Whom you hated so much 

Had the same name as you did 

And then at your funeral 

They told me you were the monster

And i told them you were not 

You couldn't be 

You were my dull eyed boy

Who liked to draw

And wore jumpers in the summer

And never explained to me why the monster had your name

You were the boy who played chess

And read books

And fell over more times than i could count 

And never explained why the monster had your name 

You were my starry-eyed boy

With soft hair

And shiny scars on shiny skin

Who never explained to me why the monster had your name

It was many years after

When i finally understood

Why you never told me

Why you couldn't tell me 

I figured 

You thought i wouldn't believe you

About the monsters in the mirror

The monsters in your name 

How they stare at you 

With bleeding eyes

And bleeding skin

But i see them as well

I see her sad eyes

And shiny scars on shiny skin

Covered in drawings

But i will never leave anyone

To wonder why 

The monster had my name

Author's Note

Sorry if there are any grammatical errors in this, it was typed up hastily. Just let me know what you think!

Reviews

[Caryn Embling-Smith]

That. Is one of the most amazing poems I've read in a while. I can't put it into words, it's just brilliant!

[Duckey]

Thank you so much :) It means so much to me that you say that.