Diet

Weight is everybody's nightmare.

This is the story of Hugh Mongusbum

A free spirit and a wonderful mate

Kind and generous as a rule of thumb

Though he’s a little bit overweight

 

His wife doesn’t enjoy sex anymore

His gut is to blame, his weight an ordeal

Not on the bed, not even on the floor

In his shoes, imagine how you’d feel

 

He exercised daily, went to the gym

Worked out, pumped iron n’ used the treadmill

Hoping that one day he'd become slim

But fat and flabby he remained still

 

The nutritionist saw the problem straight away

So he suggested: “why don’t you diet?”

In Hugh’s face joy took the place of dismay

He said: “which colour d’you think she’ll like it?”

 

 

Reviews

[Frank]

I have poem to review this time. I liked it, funny with many true glimpses into human nature. Not keen on your font though, prefer really black fonts for my tired old eyes.

How do you know me so well, who told you all about me, why did you write it down for all to see.

i liked the ending, you probably have Welsh blood, same humour. Does humour dwell in the blood or gene-pool, probably not.

Hugh was probably a little deaf when he mistook diet for dye it. So funny yet so true.

[Woody]

hi Frank. I'm sorry, mate. you know that sooner or later the truth will out. my readers have the right to know the truth. but, hey, I didn't mention you by name, though I gave a hint (did you get the guy's name?).
so I have Wlsh humour? interesting! I'm flattered.
now, that damn font! I'll never get it right. it IS black on my screen! I'll change it.
thank you so much for stopping by and commenting :)

[Valentine]

Fantastic ending. I loved this ditty. Valentine

[Woody]

thank you so much Valentine.so happy you liked it :)

[Will Neill]

Woody, you never cease to amaze me every time I read one of your stories I wonder how you are going top it and here's the proof. Loved it, nice one man.
Will

[Woody]

thanks heaps, Will. so glad you liked it. sorry for the delay in answering. I hate work that keeps me away from WC.

[Tate Morgan]

Thats great Woody you got me laughing today thanks

[Woody]

thank you Tate. so glad you enjoyed :)

[Troy Henson]

Hahahaha this was great. I've needed a good laugh Woody and this was it!

Great imagery and loved the story this told.

Troy

[Woody]

thanks a lot Troy :) always a pleasure to bring laughter to people's lives.

[Dara]

Ah, this is too funny! I love your use of images and the surprise ending or punchline if you will, is just great. I can tell you have a wonderful sense of humor :-)

[Woody]

thank you so much Flower. so glad you liked my quirky sense of humour :)

[Beccy]

If you do, don't let Hugh Mongusbum near the place, he'll eat all your profit.

:)

[Woody]

no way he's coming near the place. I'd shoot his fat you-know-what :))

[Beccy]

You Woody, are a rascal, but I love you all the same.

Sky blue pink every time.

Beccy

[Woody]

Gee, Beccy! thanks heaps. *blushing*
the day I can produce a story half as funny as the one you've written (you know the one), I'll happily retire and open a fish n' chip shop or something.

[AprilRN1210]

oh my Woody!!.. I am laughing hysterically right now!!!

this has got to be one of the funniest dang things I have read in a VERY long time!!!!..

from the name... humongous bum... (started giggling here).. to the hilarious rhymes, to the imagery, to the story, to the punchline!.. this delivered!... if could offer one suggestion maybe tighten the lines a little to adjust meter and flow, but other than that, can't fault anything..

I love your humor!!.. fav's for sure...

[Woody]

aww April, you're so sweet. thank you. so happy you like this.
now, that damn scan and meter. it's killing me. but don't worry, I'll get it right when I grow up.

[AprilRN1210]

if you can write like this and make me laugh that hard, then who cares! you are more than welcome Woody.. I still don't have it right either, but hey.. maybe when I grow up too:)

[Woody]

haha I don't know about you but I've still got years ahead of me.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Hahahhaa I knew it before I read the ending.As usual put a big smile on my face.I wonder what color he dyed it lol

[Woody]

you made me laugh!!! Green would be exciting! apart from the punchline?

[Vidya Bacchus]

Oh my gosh (headslap) did I miss it again?????? It's the name right "hughmungusbum" as in humungus bum right.Lord my spelling is horrible lol

[Woody]

good girl :)))

[Woody]

here's a tip. but mum's the word. whenever one of my characters has a bizarre name, look twice.

[Vidya Bacchus]

I realize that and duly noted lol