Diet

Weight is everybody's nightmare.

This is the story of Hugh Mongusbum

A free spirit and a wonderful mate

Kind and generous as a rule of thumb

Though he’s a little bit overweight

 

His wife doesn’t enjoy sex anymore

His gut is to blame, his weight an ordeal

Not on the bed, not even on the floor

In his shoes, imagine how you’d feel

 

He exercised daily, went to the gym

Worked out, pumped iron n’ used the treadmill

Hoping that one day he'd become slim

But fat and flabby he remained still

 

The nutritionist saw the problem straight away

So he suggested: “why don’t you diet?”

In Hugh’s face joy took the place of dismay

He said: “which colour d’you think she’ll like it?”

 

 

Reviews

[Frank]

I have poem to review this time. I liked it, funny with many true glimpses into human nature. Not keen on your font though, prefer really black fonts for my tired old eyes.

How do you know me so well, who told you all about me, why did you write it down for all to see.

i liked the ending, you probably have Welsh blood, same humour. Does humour dwell in the blood or gene-pool, probably not.

Hugh was probably a little deaf when he mistook diet for dye it. So funny yet so true.

[Woody]

hi Frank. I'm sorry, mate. you know that sooner or later the truth will out. my readers have the right to know the truth. but, hey, I didn't mention you by name, though I gave a hint (did you get the guy's name?).
so I have Wlsh humour? interesting! I'm flattered.
now, that damn font! I'll never get it right. it IS black on my screen! I'll change it.
thank you so much for stopping by and commenting :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i love his name...very clever...definitely got it...and enjoyed it...

i think for those who don't quite see the puns...it just takes a little more reading, then they would understand your style...and look for them.

[Woody]

God, your words are balm on my heart. (can we say that or am I making it up?)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

poetic license...even if you are making it up....it's a go.

[Woody]

Aah.. that's good to hear,Jacob. thx.

[Chris Micha]

This made me smile the whole way through. I love the twist at the end! :)

[Woody]

thanks loads Christian. I'm glad I made you smile. Looks like I've carried out my mission :)

[lissalovesyou]

Ah, the sad story of Hugh Mongusbum.
Love the twist on his name.
lissalovesyou:)

[Woody]

oh, many thanks Lissa. I'm quite happy you noticed the name. You're the second to comment on it. I was beginning to despair. I thought it wasn't obvious enough. Glad you like it :)

[Sami Khalil]

On the funny side which is marvelous. Bravo.......

[Woody]

My Goodness! His majesty reviewed my poem!!! Thank you ever so much for reading and liking. Sami, I swear you scare me. Your poems are so powerful, beautiful and from outer space. That's my personal opinion.

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. I'm honored your majesty too. You are so kind. Take care dear one...:)..................

[Woody]

Thank YOU :)

[Sami Khalil]

A big smile...:)..................

[ksbadyal]

Playful and fun! Brought a smile to my face!

[Woody]

thank you very much. glad you like it.

[Buddhistboy73]

This took a couple of reads for me to get the message, but now I am smiling at the humour.! A fun, rhyming scheme, and a light, amusing message here....refreshing to read actually....and the name Hugh.....yes, I like this piece the more I read it....!
Thanks for sharing...:)
BB

[Woody]

Thanks loads, Buddhistboy. Much appreciated. You're the first to comment on the name and I'm super duper happy. Wasn't sure if people would notice.

[KWP]

I like this very much - immediately in touch with the humorous tone, great to see writing such as this on the site - sometimes it all becomes so heavy - you have brightened my mood already :)thanks

try reading your poem out loud a few times to see if the rhythm stays true you can always play around with the words a bit to keep the flow going by deleting or adding or changing the word itself ...

your english is excellent !!

[Woody]

Awfully nice of you to say so and I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the tip. I'll certainly keep that in mind but to be honest, I'm more at home with short stories.

[KWP]

you are a natural poet - you can tell by your playfulness - don't stop !!

[Woody]

I've just read a couple of your poems (I'll comment later) and, god, can you write! such beauty, such mastery!! and out of the blue, Joan Baez's voice popped into my head: "your poetry is lousy..."

[KWP]

Hahaha so you like it or is it lousy ? Funny stuff ... I have not been writing for long ,... Which is why I encourage you to continue because once you discover the levels you will find the depths calling you all the time x x

[Woody]

how awkward of me! I was referring to my poems, of course, compared to yours. and that line from "Diamonds and Rust" kept running through my head driving me crazy.

[KWP]

Funny stuff ... I was only joking of course :-) hehe !!!

[Marie]

THis is really funny. I look forward to reading your work every day, because it know it will always be good, short, to the poingt.

But take a look at the second line in the second verse. I think you made a mistake.

[Woody]

evening Marie. thank you very much indeed. And yes, I'm a silly so and so. I always berate myself for not reading before posting. What a howler! Oh by the way, D'you like the name of my character? :)

[Marie]

The name is fine. I assume you used it to rhyme with "thumb".

[Bright Ocean Star]

:( my cheeks hurt! I'm laughing so hard! Stop!!! :) Don't stop. It's too funny!

[Woody]

oh boy, thx Anne. I'm thrilled that you like it.