All's well that ends well

A man nearly gets killed while crossing the street. He is saved by a clever surgeon.

 The loud screech of tires, followed by a dull thud caused heads to snap around towards the source of the noise. Then all the people in the vicinity moved as one. They converged on the figure sprawled in the middle of the street. Only the head and torso of the man were visible as the lower part of his body was under the truck that hit him. His face was a red mask. A cacophony of voices could be heard: “OH, MY GOD!” and “MINE GOT” and “HARI KRISHNA!” and some other Chinese gibberish. One Japanese had his Nikon glued to his eye and was firing away while an old lady standing by his side was weeping silently. One of the gawkers rushed to the poor devil and expertly put two fingers to the man’s carotid, feeling for a pulse. He raised his head and declared: 

“HE'S ALIVE!” 

The crowd issued a collective sigh of relief and voices were heard saying: “Praised be the Lord” and “Halleluiah” and “Born in the USA”. 

Finally, the wail of an ambulance could be heard from two blocks away.

 

Dagobert is usually more careful when crossing the street but that fateful morning, he had so much on his brain that he never saw the truck hurtling down the street. It hit him smack on the face. Anyway, they rushed him to hospital, the ambulance flew. But when they arrived there was naught they could do. (Hey, that's poetry! God, I surprise even myself sometimes.) The surgery took six hours.

He's now in the recovery room, face all covered in bandages and the surgeon is taking his pulse and looking at his watch. He's going to be late again, I know. "How're you feeling, asks the surgeon?"
Still woozy from the anesthetics, Dago, as his friends call him, says: "I feel like I've been hit by a truck. How did the operation go, Doc?" Doctor Hoo (he's Chinese, by the way) smiles benignly at the bandages and says reassuringly: 

"I'm proud to say that the operation was a success although you lost your right eye, I'm afraid. It was completely useless when they scraped it off the grill of the truck. But we did save your left eye."
"Well I should be grateful, says Dagobert in a trembling voice, thank you so much."

"No need to thank me. Glad to have been of assistance. Now, take a good rest and before leaving, remember to ask the nurse to give you the eye we saved."

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

"All's well that ends well?"... I mean does the saying, "look on the bright side" count when he can't see?.. :P

sounds like some of the doctors I work with.. is it in one of those "pickling" jars, sitting on the nurses station?.. what the heck was the doctor operating on then, the "eye" he saved?.. ha!..

cute Woody, as always got a little giggle..

Dr Hoo knew
was nothing he could do
He tried stitches and glue
even some homemade brew
a stew of ghastly green goo
threw in a hammer and screw
at last-the crew
somehow pulled through
fixed it right up, almost like new
what's left, but to enjoy the view?
(couldn't resist)..

[Woody]

lol I swear you're a riot April. romantic, naughty and funny (wow what a combination!)
look on the bright side is even better.
pickle jar hahaha. better than wrapped in a tissu, right?
I love that poem to bits :)
thank you very much for your witty review, April.

[AprilRN1210]

You always tickle my funny bone Woody, you know I am a fan!... Glad I could make you giggle.. You are more than welcome my friend, and thank you :)

[Woody]

a fun fan :) couldn't've hoped for better.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Nicely written. Kept the interest alive right till the end. It is good if we can manage to laugh at the more serious and painful aspects of life.
Keep it up :)

[Woody]

that's exactly my motto, Doc :)
thanks a lot for stopping to read another silly write. glad it held your interest.

[Dara]

Wonderful story and as always I read with anticipation to see the ending! You have a great outlook on life and I love that you can see the humor in it, even amidst some of the pain :-)

[Woody]

thank you very much Dara. as I keep telling reviewers, there's never any malice or meanness in my writes. I like to laugh and make those around me at least smile.

[Dara]

Your gift to bring smiles to people is so appreciated. It is true what they say, "Laughter is the best medicine". Thanks for spreading it around :-)

[Jimmy Yetts]

At least Dago (shame on you, W!) can't see the medical bills; will probably have to sell the eye to help cover them.
A darkly humorous tale, Woody, that nonetheless well entertains.

[Woody]

hahaha sell the eye to pay the bill!!! should've thought of that.
I didn't mean anything by Dago. could've been Paddy or Mick or whatever.
thanks for stopping by Frankie. glad you found this one entertaining despite the dark tinge.

[Bright Ocean Star]

Very funny, Woody. I somehow thought you were going to have the doctor be the one to hit him in the truck, but this is even better! Your stories always make me laugh. Thank you, my friend...:)

[Woody]

thank YOU for stopping by B. I'm elated that this one tickled your funny bone.

[Bright Ocean Star]

you are welcome..:)

[Valentine]

You are so mean. The poor guy, eyes and face bandaged and you want him to retrieve the good eye they saved, clever and funny ending, Valentine

[Woody]

thanks a lot Valentine. I assure you I'm a gentle and caring man. but with humour, it's no holds barred with me. never with malice though :)
sorry about the late reply.

[Valentine]

That's all right, I laughed at the story. We all need laughs now and then. Kathie

[Matching Socks]

Lol. :)
Thanks for my morning smiles Woody!
Love the bit of poetry you wove into this.
You're good!

[Woody]

:)) you're so kind Ana and one of the sweetest reviewers.
reading your poetry must've somehow rubbed off on me, don't you think? I can't think of another explanation. I come from a family of unpoetic clowns.

[Matching Socks]

I think you're a closet poet Woody and it's time to come out! :)
The rest of your family can stay. :)

[Woody]

haha you think we're all bundled up in there? we don't own one of those walk-in closets.
now, for me "come out of the closet" means only one thing. damn! how could you tell?
sorry about the late reply, Dear. bloody work! can't wait for retirement.

[Symphonic_Sunflowers]

Very dark, Mr Woody! A good write, thats for sure!

[Woody]

thank you Chloe. teah ok everybody says it's dark but look at the funny side of it :)
after all one of the eyes is saved.

[Symphonic_Sunflowers]

I did get a laugh out of it

[Beccy]

Always that grand twist in the tail. A bit dark perhaps, but darkly humorous is fine by me.

Beccy.

[Woody]

and always super to have you drop by. thanks Dear. mmm yes black humour. as long as I manage to make the reader smile.

[Kayja Symphious]

I had to come back and read another. Darker? Yes. Funny? Oh yes! The end made me go from a smile, to a gasp, to a laugh, all in one motion. (it wasn't pretty.)

Great write Woody.

[Woody]

thank you Dear :)
I choose to laugh about serious matters. hey life's too full of horror these days, isn't it?
glad you liked this Kayja

[Kayja Symphious]

I agree. Also, since I worked as a lab tech (I'm better at science than writing) in a hospital for years, I understand this humor.

In the medical field, it's what we have to do to survive. Otherwise it would be too depressing.