All's well that ends well

A man nearly gets killed while crossing the street. He is saved by a clever surgeon.

 The loud screech of tires, followed by a dull thud caused heads to snap around towards the source of the noise. Then all the people in the vicinity moved as one. They converged on the figure sprawled in the middle of the street. Only the head and torso of the man were visible as the lower part of his body was under the truck that hit him. His face was a red mask. A cacophony of voices could be heard: “OH, MY GOD!” and “MINE GOT” and “HARI KRISHNA!” and some other Chinese gibberish. One Japanese had his Nikon glued to his eye and was firing away while an old lady standing by his side was weeping silently. One of the gawkers rushed to the poor devil and expertly put two fingers to the man’s carotid, feeling for a pulse. He raised his head and declared: 

“HE'S ALIVE!” 

The crowd issued a collective sigh of relief and voices were heard saying: “Praised be the Lord” and “Halleluiah” and “Born in the USA”. 

Finally, the wail of an ambulance could be heard from two blocks away.

 

Dagobert is usually more careful when crossing the street but that fateful morning, he had so much on his brain that he never saw the truck hurtling down the street. It hit him smack on the face. Anyway, they rushed him to hospital, the ambulance flew. But when they arrived there was naught they could do. (Hey, that's poetry! God, I surprise even myself sometimes.) The surgery took six hours.

He's now in the recovery room, face all covered in bandages and the surgeon is taking his pulse and looking at his watch. He's going to be late again, I know. "How're you feeling, asks the surgeon?"
Still woozy from the anesthetics, Dago, as his friends call him, says: "I feel like I've been hit by a truck. How did the operation go, Doc?" Doctor Hoo (he's Chinese, by the way) smiles benignly at the bandages and says reassuringly: 

"I'm proud to say that the operation was a success although you lost your right eye, I'm afraid. It was completely useless when they scraped it off the grill of the truck. But we did save your left eye."
"Well I should be grateful, says Dagobert in a trembling voice, thank you so much."

"No need to thank me. Glad to have been of assistance. Now, take a good rest and before leaving, remember to ask the nurse to give you the eye we saved."

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

"All's well that ends well?"... I mean does the saying, "look on the bright side" count when he can't see?.. :P

sounds like some of the doctors I work with.. is it in one of those "pickling" jars, sitting on the nurses station?.. what the heck was the doctor operating on then, the "eye" he saved?.. ha!..

cute Woody, as always got a little giggle..

Dr Hoo knew
was nothing he could do
He tried stitches and glue
even some homemade brew
a stew of ghastly green goo
threw in a hammer and screw
at last-the crew
somehow pulled through
fixed it right up, almost like new
what's left, but to enjoy the view?
(couldn't resist)..

[Woody]

lol I swear you're a riot April. romantic, naughty and funny (wow what a combination!)
look on the bright side is even better.
pickle jar hahaha. better than wrapped in a tissu, right?
I love that poem to bits :)
thank you very much for your witty review, April.

[AprilRN1210]

You always tickle my funny bone Woody, you know I am a fan!... Glad I could make you giggle.. You are more than welcome my friend, and thank you :)

[Woody]

a fun fan :) couldn't've hoped for better.

[Tom]

Well at least he pulled through...One for the hammer horror of comedies Woody, loved the gruesome, graphic ending !!

[Woody]

thank you dear Tom. and pull through, he did. now all he has to do is learn how to twirl it between his fingers and make it travel up and down. a neat trick. I saw some magicians do that.

[Tom]

Ha Woody...no flies on you my man ! Lol...

[Woody]

I meant magicians do it with tiny balls of course.

[Tom]

Woody did you hear the one about the expert military marksman who was so good he could shoot the balls of a fly from 1/2 a mile away ?

[Woody]

hahaha no I haven't. that's some marksman!
a good shot with lazer vision and minuscule bullets.

[Tom]

Ah Woody you're too smart by poetic friend, a uniformed friend of mine told that one to another civilian friend ( an accountant) & he took the bate, hook, line & sinker!! Boom, boom ....

[Woody]

lol mind you, could've been a giant fly. I'm just exploring all the possibilities.

[Tom]

A enquiring, curious mind, is a clever mind !

[Woody]

talking about balls, check out my poem "moths"

[Tom]

Gonna do right now ...

[Samuel Dickens]

Groan..... Woody, I think this qualifies as "black humor", not that there's anything wrong with that. I rather like it, in fact. Reminds me of one of those "good news and bad news" jokes.

[Woody]

hey Sam. yeah I'm well aware it's kinda black. but if it can produce a smile then I'm happy.
my motto is humour is humour no matter the colour.
thank you for the kind visit.

[Frieda P]

I'm glad you find you have to remind us when we get to the 'poetic' part...Born in the USA, really?

Dagobert, that in itself is pretty dang funny...Gah, creepy ending. You're twisted Woody. :)

[Woody]

what can I say? it's a motley crowd. I was as surprised as you to hear that nutty shout.
think I'm twisted? you should see me when I've put a few pints under my belt :)
thanks for the lovely visit, Dear.

[Frieda P]

Who says that when someone's dying? haha I can only imagine..... :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

Haha oh my god Woody I knew the ending would get me and it did.Why are you so mean ??? This made me laugh so hard but then you always make me laugh .You are a brilliant writer comedic or otherwise :)

[Woody]

thanks heaps Vid. the ring of your laughter is, as always, music to my ears.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Lol....you sweet talker you.You are welcome Sir Woody :)

[Will Neill]

Nice one, ha I think your career lies in comedy writing.
Take care
Will

[Woody]

Thanks heaps for stopping by, Will . So you think I can make a career of it? want to be my agent? :)

[Will Neill]

I will need at least 50% of all your earning. Signed in blood- Read my story '' Saving Ryan's Privates'' if you enjoy a laugh. Will

[Woody]

you've got yourself a deal, Will. And no I haven't. But I'll do it right away.

[Woody]

The title is certainly enticing.

[Marie]

It took me a few seconds to comprehend the end of this grisly tale. Very well told. Your stories are a bright spot in my day.

[Woody]

and I am jubilant when I hear you say that. I'll try not to disappoint you :)