The Lore

When Ariantír was still young and free, it was guarded by the loving hands of the elementals. Prosperity ruled, with little friction between the five races residing there. Often, this period of time is called the Golden Age, but as youth, it faded as the elementals abandoned it to its fate, leaving behind only a simple reed pipe on which to call them in the most dire of situations.

From across the seas came a sixth, savage race, one not as graceful as the elves or stocky as the dwarves. Humans resembled the Ketans in their two-legged form, but with pale skin and hearts of war. And so the Dark Ages began.

Bloodshed and battles ravaged to once-peaceful lands, as the alien race of Man attempted to tame the wilderness of Ariantír. Brother turned on brother as the broken land quickly warped to allow evil in.

Far from the war’s greedy heart, a council of elders from each of the original races discussed what should be done. After many days and nights, it was agreed to call on the elementals. Their leader, a mighty dragon called Asophfel, blew a long, high note on the pipe, and all of Ariantír stopped to listen.

But as the elementals looked down on the lands, they saw the corruption in the hearts of all races, not just those of men. This displeased them, and they did not answer.

Deep in the heart of the Ingrad Forest, shielded from the war, one elven child was playing in the woods. Her name was Areen Arrowsflight, and she was the last in the lands who was still pure of heart, mind and soul. The elementals recognised this, and bestowed upon her their last gift to Ariantír �" a sparkling blue gem which could be used to end suffering by the innocent alone.

All who laid eyes on the jewel were affected by it. They forgot their quarrels and troubles, returning to the way of their ancestors, the way they had lived for many millennia. Its wonderful and immense power gave the gem the name “Areen’s Gift”, but Areen remained as pure and innocent as she had been when the gem was given to her, untouched by its magic. With the elven gift of eternal youth, she vanished into the forests, after giving her jewel to her eldest son, so that he might continue to keep the peace in Ariantír.

Little was it known that a second jewel existed, mined from caverns of darkness by a malicious dwarf. Gifted with dark powers, the gem became an evil twin to Areen’s Gift, allowing the continued existence of sin. Others like the dwarf attempted to steal the original jewel, hypnotised by the power it gifted its bearer with, but none were successful. The second jewel was forgotten for an age, until a young human jewelcrafter stumbled upon it at the shores of the Ramar river, and brought it to his workshop for use in a golden necklace, which later found its way into the hands of the king of Men.

That was the day Areen’s Gift was stolen.

Without the jewel to guide them, the inhabitants of Ariantír fell into disarray. Keen to avoid a second war, the elves and dragons left Ariantír in search of new lands. The dwarves disappeared underground, and the race of man became corrupted once more. The Ketans retreated to the Ingrad Forest or found their homes amongst humans, affected greatly by the influence of the second jewel. Gradually, the race of Man forgot about the other races, dismissing them as the figment of an imaginative child’s mind.

Although the second jewel reigned over the nation of Man, it is unclear what happened to Areen’s Gift. Many speculate the thief was of one of the departed races, and therefore the jewel had left with them. But in a small village nestled in the Iliahn Isles, a different story is told.

Reviews

[Chloe]

This is just amazing. You set everything out so well that I could see everything happening. I saw Lord of the Rings all the way through. I liked how you made the humans look like total a******s (which we totally are). This is almost a flawless chapter.

One thing that got me was that you didn't explain the races that much. You also said that there were five original races but I could only find four (though I may have missed it since I'm half-asleep and packing a suitcase). You also didn't explain the elementals in much detail. I was left with no image of what they looked like or how many of them there were.

Other than that, AMAZING!!!!!!! I'd love to read more.

[Meghan]

Thanks, Chloe! The five races are elves, dwarves, elementals, dragons, and ketan. I know I didn't explain the elementals much, I'll most likely edit in some minor descriptions, and in chapter 14, we meet the reminents of the elementals, so that should also help. :) Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

[This Guy (Again)]

Excellent! I like the splitting conflict, and how it thrives out the plot. It reminds me of Elder Scrolls, and Lord of the Rings for some reason (besides the races, and fantasy feel). Can't wait for the second chapter (:

[Meghan]

thanks! I'll be posting it up as soon as I've edited it :)

[IsoRoku]

You seem to have a very well planned background to this story you have. Your ability to plan mythos out is amazing, you seem to be able to plan out a very broad world for your story to flourish in.
I do however find that there may be some pieces missing to this world of yours. I do feel as if i wasn't given enough description of the setting. The lack of setting makes my imagination revert to Tolkien standards, which honestly makes your story feel as if it lacks novelty. I would like to see you put in a lot more effort with description in all senses. It would be great for you to describe a lot more about each race and make them more of your own rather than letting it disguise itself as someone else's. Display the beauty of this world and it's people in a way that it reflects your own creativity.
I would also like to see you give the story a larger heart and greater depth. I found that this story felt like another fight against good and evil. In your world are the definitions of good and evil truly the same?
With skills like yours i see that you have an opportunity to be great. I would like that greatness to come with a voice that truly reflects you as a writer. Not as a 2 dimensional repetition of the worlds current and past motifs, but rather something that could only come from you.
Ps. I have started a fantasy reading, writing and editing group. I would be honored if you joined us.

[Meghan]

First off, thank you for taking the time to read and review my novel.
I see you mention that there isn't enough description of the setting - this is purposeful, as this is just a fairytale in Ariantír, and I inteded it so. THere is a lot mroe description in teh chapters to come, in particular after the 7th or 8th.
You also say that I haven't described teh races. This is something I can most likely improve upon, and I will try to - I am wary of putting too much description in though, as I don't wish to ruin teh storytelling effect. I think that one or two sentences, however, shoudl be doable, and I'll give it a go as soona s I've sorted out iTunes :P
You ask if the definitions of good and evil are the same - I would say that they are margianlly different. Good is innocence, and evil is sin - but the two mingle constantly. As in our world, no person is entirely free of sin, or entirely full of it, either. I constantly feel like I'm writing the wrong part of the story of the Edolhmir when writing chapters, because the part I am starting from doesn't truely allow the culture to shine through, nor the story of the person behind the entire saga. Ah well. That's what editing's for! :P
And thank you for teh invite, I have joined :)

[Anna]

Actually, I kind of disagree with IsoRoKu. I do think that you have some very Tolkien like aspects, however, I don't think that any more description of the world or things along those lines is necessary at this point. The beginning of the Hobbit, and LOTR has this kind of tone to it, so more power to you if can really emulate that kind of style with your unique plot. As far as novelty goes, there is always a core good v. evil, boil down pretty much any plot from any novel and you are going to get this basic idea. This sets the atmosphere where you can insert any kind of character you would like in any setting or place in the world. I agree that if you put too much of the specifics into this kind of chapter it gets too heavy to digest all in one go and it would take away from the story telling aspect of it. If you have ever read Silmarilion, or for that matter any Greek mythology that deals with Chronos it reads the same way very overarching background. As far as describing the races goes, I think that unless you are developing a unique race most readers can picture an elf, or a dwarf, without much help. I didn't notice any awkward sentences or things of the like. (You have a finer hand with the mechanics of English than I do.) I think it will be an interesting story to say the least.

[Meghan]

Well thank you, Anna :) I haven't read Silmarilion yet, although it's on my to-read list. Also, I have created a new race, but I am introducing them slowly, as it helps the plot... :)

[IsoRoku]

Alright, I see Anna's point... But, I'm excited to see that new race of yours.

[william keepers]

I have no questions about the plot, characters or setting here Epika, for the asking could reveal what comes next. What I see here is your creation of what was a simple happy world run amok. Yes you have presented a lot of questions and no answers. Yes, the characters are very vague as of yet. But does not the beginning of a story just paint a broad picture of what may come? I see this as an excellent beginning to an epic tale that may very well shed some light on our modern day stupidity. Please keep writing it!

[Meghan]

THank you for your review! and also for noticing that little comment on the main book - I have this posted on several other sites, and so far no comments on any - so you can imagine my surprise when I logged on and saw two crits on my work! So thanks :)