The Narrow Path

A poem about traveling the narrow path and getting lost.

I remember I was on this path.
This narrow path.
It was dimly lit as if only being lit by a lamp.
I could only see a couple steps ahead of me.
But it was still as if I knew where I was headed.
I walked and walked.
And the path grew narrower and narrower.
One by one the people around me lost the path.
They caught a glimpse of a better path and turned from the one they were on.
I pushed through though until eventually I too found myself lost.
That lamplight that had once guided me was gone and I could not see.
I no longer knew where I was headed.
Darkness surrounded me.
Wrapping itself around me like a noose around my neck.
Choking out my hope.
I felt empty.
Lost.
There were other people around me.
but they were not as comforting as those on the path.
For they didn't care where they were headed.
All they cared about was their own selfish desires.
A void was growing inside me.
Getting bigger and bigger by the day.
And no matter what I did I couldn't fill it.
Then one day while meandering through the darkness; I fell.
I lay there in pain.
Ready to give up.
Then I heard a voice.
A still small voice pierce the darkness.
I looked and saw a light walking towards me.
For a second I felt fear.
But then he reached out his hand and helped me up.
Once I was up he pointed.
And when I looked in that direction I felt happiness return.
For just a few steps away was the narrow path I had lost so long ago.
I walked back over and stepped on to the path.
And that void that had been growing inside me disappeared.
Once again I knew where I was headed.
My fellow travelers welcomed me back with open arms.
And I felt my hope restored.
I continued on the path for many years.
Until I eventually reached the end.
At the end of the path there stood a gate.
And in front of the gate, to my amazement stood the man who had picked me up.
He held out his hand and I once again took it.
"Come with me." he said.
Your journey is done.

Reviews

[A. Amos]

Another good write.....Totally enjoyed

[Erik Daniel]

Thank you so much!

[Stefanie Holmes]

I loved how you wove a story within the lines of this one!
Only one suggestion from me... I would take away the periods away from each of your lines and just let it flow. Poems in my opinion do not always need punctuation and I think this piece would be great without it. :) Just a personal opinion thought so, you can leave it as you like!
Great write!

~Stefanie

[Erik Daniel]

Thank you! And thanks for the advice!

[Kelly M.]

Oh my. This was really moving. And, as another reader said, I really loved how it flowed like a story. It was sharing something. Great job! :)

[Erik Daniel]

Thank you!

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

I think this is the best one you did so far...I love how it flowed like a story, I love poems like that when they tell a story but they don't need to rhyme but they do need to flow smoothly and I think you accomplished that very well ^^ I think now this is my favorite one of yours, it is hard to explain how wonderful it is. It kinda reminds me of a poem I wrote, "Set Me Free" but not exactly lol Anyway give yourself a pat on the back because you did a great job.

[Erik Daniel]

Wow. That means a lot. Thank you so much!

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

^^ You're welcome...I could visualize this very well by how you wrote it, keep up the good work

[Erik Daniel]

Thank you! I must be getting better, the lat 3 poems of mine you have reviewed you said it was your favorite. lol

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

lmbo xD yeah well that's a good thing soon there will probably be another favorite lol You're welcome...how do you come up with the ideas, they just come to you?

[Erik Daniel]

Actually yeah they do. I will hear or see or think about something and then just write.

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

^^ that's cool

[Erik Daniel]

Thanks! My past inspires me a lot also.

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

You're welcome, emotions can play a key role too lol but I guess emotions describe anything we feel so I guess that's a given xD

[Sami Khalil]

Good that you made it on the narrow path. Keep up your great work...:)........

[Erik Daniel]

Thank you man! Glad you liked it!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome man...:)......................