Chapter 1/ How it started

It was the morning of October 29th. It was 6:20 a.m, the clock started ringing, like it was suppose to, i grabbed a pillow and covered it over my head, trying to tune out the ring. The stupid ,annoying ring. Until i shrugged it off, and took the pillow off my head, stood up ,and smacked my hand down, to shut up the alarm clock. I made my way to the bathroom, and i took a look in the mirror. I need a lot of work, i have messy hair, bags under my eyes, extremely heavy eyelids, and rough skin, i took a look at my stomach, i rubbed my hand up and down, and eventually sighed. I combed my hair, put some make-up on my "bags",and  put lotion on my skin. I tried to suck in my stomach, it satisfied me, until i exhaled, and the stomach went back to normal. I changed into a, Hot pink t-shirt, skinny jeans, and converse sneakers, including a black Northface jacket.
I ran downstairs, grabbed a bowl, I walked towards the refrigerator, stood up on my tiptoes, trying to reach the reese's puffs,  the tips of my fingers finally got the edge of the box, pulling it, the box fell on the ground, with a bunch of reese's puffs rolling around. Ah, s**t! now how am i going to clean this up! i thought to myself, then i took a pen out of the side of my pocket, with a notebook paper and wrote, Dear mom, Hi, sorry, late to school, please clean it up! thanks. I wrote, I put the note book paper on the counter, reached for my backpack and ran out of the house. My friend, Emily lives 4 houses down from me, when i saw her close her door. I waved my hand up in the air


"Hey!" I yelled, she waved back, she got closer to me "Hi" Emily said with no emotion in her tone. She was wearing a grey shirt, with a large peace sign on it, wearing denim skinny jeans, to show off her legs, her pure skinny legs, I envied them. I envied her skinny body, while I 'm like, "fat". I decided to tell her. "I totally envy you!" i confessed "Why?" Emily asked curiously "You're like a walking stick! while I'm like a walking balloon" I  admitted "Do you want to know my secret" Emily whispered, bending her face toward  mines. I shook my head, if I made her tell me her secret, I would feel like I invaded her privacy. Then curiosity killed me, "Tell me! oh please!" i shrieked, she put her index finger on her lip, as if gesturing to shut me up, i closed my mouth "I don't eat at all" Emily blurted. I opened my mouth wide "You're anorexic?!" i whispered, appalled "No, no it's like an extreme diet, and look at me!" Emily said, waving her hand in front of her body. "And aren't you like, ever tempted to sneak in a little something,something?" i asked "Of course! thats why i have thinspirtation!" Emily explained  "Don't you mean inspiration?" I corrected "Uh, no thinspiration , is an inspiration on being THIN! get it?" Emily explained "Yeah, kinda.. examples please" i begged. Emily stopped walking, unzipped her backpack,  taking out a magazine of Rachel Mcadams, "This is my thinspiration, my goal is to be like her..so everytime i want to eat, i take a look at this picture, and i lose my appetite" Emily explained "But you're skinner than Rachel.."i pointed out "NO!" Emily yelled, stomping away. I was confused,to her it should be a compliment, and she should stop, if that was her goal, then she reached it, but i had an excuse to do that extreme diet.

When i entered the school, i looked inside the trash can, to find maybe a thinspiration. Nothing but, trash full of rough drafts, gum, and water bottles.
My teacher came by, and stared at me, as if i was a weirdo What the f**k is she looking at, hasn't she ever heard, staring is rude. I turned around, and made my way to my desk. I sat down, my heart was pounding. I felt like my "extreme diet" was wrong, but my goal was to look like Britney Spears, beautiful, and skinny.I pushed my hair behind my ear, looking down, my hands sweating, I wiped the sweat off the my jeans.Emily entered the class, she stared at me, walking by, i  stood up.

"Listen Emily whatever I-" i tried to say. She kept staring at me "No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have over reacted like i did" Emily apologized, her voice gentle and quiet, like an angel talking, but she was no angel, she was anorexic, I'm not like that I'm going to get to my goal and stop. "Listen face it, I'm no Rachel Mcadams, not yet anyways" Emily said. Next thing i know, Emily collapsed to the ground, i yelled. "Mrs. Nonger!" i yelled, tears running down my face, is she dead?

They closed the classroom down, no one could enter, but i had to enter! She was my friend, I was the witness before she dropped practically dead. I tried to enter the room "Whoa,Whoa miss, we're currently investigating the room, any poison or something, so please step out" The Officer said. "She wasn't poisoned, i would know, I'm her friend, and i deserve a right to be by her side the whole way! i demand to go in the ambulance if you won't let me enter the room." I argued "Miss, you can enter the ambulance, for now step back" The officer said. I took a couple step backs,tears running down my face, my nose sniffled, my heart was pounding.

"Are you okay, i know she was your best friend" Some girl said with an apologetic voice "Yeah, I'm fine, thanks for asking" I said, not paying attention to those around me, was the world still rotating?  I felt like we were going to fall any minute now.
"Hey,you should get something to eat, when people are nervous they usually eat" Mrs. Nonger offered, I was hungry my stomach grumbled, "N- no thanks" I said nervous, starving, But no, im devoted to follow this, so called diet.

They had Emily strapped on a gurney, i was behind the paramedics, crying.
They made me step in "Emily, its going to be okay.." I said crying "Is she your cousin or something?" One of the paramedics asked "No, just a friend" i told "Okay, then when we're at the hospital, you have to sit in the waiting room" The paramedic explained, i just nodded my head.  I stared at Emily, Her face was pale white, covered in light pink eye shadow, her lips glossy. Her stomach didn't stick out, at all.

When we were at the hospital, i waited impatiently, was she okay? She just dropped there, on the ground. The doctor came out, looked at me, then looked at Emily's mom "I'm very sorry, but your daughter Emily, is in a hypoglycemic coma" The doctor said quietly, My jaw dropped open " What, why!?" I blurted out " Melissa, go to your mom, she must be worried sick about you" Emily's mom said, while one tear slowly shed, I would argue, but this is no time, Emily's mom needs her own time. I nodded my head, stood up walking away, I turned back took one look at emily's mom, and kept walking.

When I finally got home, my mother was standing there, her arms crossed "Where were you young lady?" My  mother said frantically "Mother, no time for your LECTURES! emily is in a coma, okay? is that what you wanted to hear mother?" I snapped, My mom thinks , hey look my daughter does whatever i tell her to! I started sobbing, and crying "Well then, i hope your happy!" I said choking on my own tears, i had a huge lump in my throat, but hey? My mother doesn't care. "Melissa, honey!" My mother said calling for me, but i ignored her, while i was going to be locked in the room, might as well look for my thinspiration! I slammed the door shut
locked it, and ran towards my book shelf, i found a magazine of Rihanna, This could do.