Crater

My feet may be walking backwards

they may be very still

either way the wrinkles do show

forwards or backwards I'll not escape

You may love who I've become

you may adore who I still am

you'll never know my battles won

nor will you know what I have lost

you'll not know any of it because

your brows will furrow in disgust

I have tried to soldier on

swinging my sword from side to side

for every monster that I slay

there are thousands more that follow behind

As the years go by

as my carelessness defeats

every healthy nerve in my body

for a simple life I'll not resist

know that every hour spent

is in a job that pays the rent

in this life that I possess

that I've no reason to detest

I shall smile upon request

by the sun that shall indeed rise

I am grateful for every moment

though the mask be my disguise

Take this laugh that I deliver

take these hands that offer you help

take this heart that loves you dearly

for it loves you more than itself

Take this gold that I must work for

to ensure you're far from pain

Although I, too, fall into the spiral

of this materialistic game

I don't need to work for years

to know that I do not belong

I shall sing until the Grim announces

that this shall be my final song

I will tell you what you want to hear

I will nod and I will agree

and every moment that is mine

I shall battle misery

Why do I feel the need to please everyone but me?

I will take note of your remarks

I'll disregard your superior ways

I will hold on to the dream

where I am writing everyday

I've no need of your approval

if I must ensure I will

though a woman of survival

such a life will surely kill