Wind is Beckoning

Wind is beckoning

For a moment I give myself to it

Well you needn’t do that

But oh, I long to

 

Shake the

Rattle Rattle Rattle

A honeysuckle of an allegory

One so arbitrary and underwater

Oh, I long to go back

 

You lowered me down with grace

Only to never return  

And I cried out from the dream

 

Wind is beckoning

It’s grey wanting is blowing my hair back

Towards a dark mouth

I know too well

Author's Note

I wrote this listening to the album "Honey and Salt" by Matt Wilson. Comments and Critiques are welcome of course, as I need all the help I can get!

Reviews

[Alexa Apothic Red]

The last stanza is my favorite. While the others give personification to give life to the wind, the last one is the strongest in effect. It takes on the most human characteristics there I think.. and it is still mysterious.. perhaps quite a bit of symbolism representing things the reader is trying to figure out.. I like the mystery, and "It's grey wanting is blowing my hair back" can mean a few different things... like does the wind have its own "wanting" to blow her hair back? or does it want back the power of being able to blow her hair any which direction it pleases? or is the wanting of the wind grey and dark and its the wanting that leads the hair into a succumbed opening that is some kind of dark path? It's clear that it wants to have this dark power over her. It wants to lure her back in. My only thoughts would be to make all the stanzas a little more cohesive and give the others the same power that that last stanza has. Great writing! Keep it up!

[Evelyn]

Yes, looking back the first few stanzas were pretty choppy. I just made some edits to try to make it flow a little better, and make stanzas work together as a whole. Thanks for the insightful and super helpful review!

[Sarah's words]

This poem is very unique, leading me to really feel the dark emotions portrayed!! Keep writing, it would be awesome to see more of your work!!

[Evelyn]

I'm glad to hear it was effective, thanks for your encouraging words!