I don't know why

I don’t know why I do it
All the sweat and fears and pretending
I don’t know why I put words on paper
And pretend they are me
Because somewhere a reader in New York
Who also pretends . . . . to be God . . . .
Decides if my words are worthy
Of the printing presses and cover designs
And marketing and promotion tours
And I hate the tours and the pretending
Of writing for a stranger, "To my good friend, Mildred"
Just like she wanted and then she leaves
And I’ll never see my good friend Mildred again
But it’s another sale and a royalty check
Proving that maybe the words had value after all

I take a noon break from Barnes & Noble
And jump on the bus toward Manhattan
And there’s a woman sitting just behind the driver
And she’s reading . . . . she’s reading my book
And I want to say, Hey, that’s me!  That name, it’s mine!
But she wouldn’t believe or even care
Because to her I am only words
A shadow figure made unimportant by his own creation
But she turns a page and I think it’s a compliment
Because I have refined pretending into an art
And I will return home, to Mexico, and there pretend
That converted to pesos, I am fine for a long while
But the addiction to pretending returns
And I again put words on paper to repeat the cycle
And I don’t know why I do it

Reviews

[Ravyne Hawke]

I admire poets who are published. I guess if I tried hard enough I could be too, but maybe I am selfish with my words? I love how this is portrayed as a story of sorts and how you struggle with the need for money to survive and the unhappiness you feel when you have to publish and tour and sign books. I am grateful though that you share your words here at WC.

[DrD]

I have never published poetry,Lori. I'm not good enough for that. My books are about a variety of themes, but none are poetry.

[Ravyne Hawke]

Never publish poetry? wow, well I think you are very good. I would pay for a book of your poetry. read moreNever publish poetry? wow, well I think you are very good. I would pay for a book of your poetry.

[Sheila Kline]

It's so good to have you back on again.....YOU HAVE BEEN MISSED my friend!

I do declare Myrna was having a nervous breakdown because you were gone!! She says that you just have that dang writin' stuff in yer blood and that you have to do it!! Oh, the big hot to tot shots say this and that, and make you do so many changes, but you are gonna make M O N E Y from it, so she waited for you!

Mexico will hopefully provide peace until that addiction gets hold of you again!! And, then you'll be off again to ?????.

[J. J. Nightingale]

We give our words away ..
Is that a sharing thing..?
Who knows all the reasons why
I guess we strive to survive
Until we die ..

Happy you r home .. :) x J.