Dead nature

Look,

A bird flying above the reticent rocks.

Listen,

The waves are crashing off the docks.

Feel,

The breeze craving for your neck.

Recede,

Just like the parts from an old wreck,

Because the nature doesn't like you, anymore.

Sink,

In the sadness where the birds don't twitter.

Wan,

Because the darkness is their babysitter.

Crawl,

Because the nature scorns you.

Beg,

There's nothing more you can do.

Walk,

Throught the forest, so dark, opaque.

Cry,

Because the dark ages are awake.

Fade,

The oak is bleeding..

Close your eyes,

It's branches are reaching

The wondrous sky.

But it's too far away..

 

Author's Note

I love this poem. It needed a much more time and inspiration. :P Tell me if there's any grammar mistakes or something. :D

Reviews

[The dark story]

Your image is being portrayed here very vividly with those impeccable diction…making out those chaotic touches and guilt quite clear in those lines. I really loves this poem and the very theme you have worked on. I surmise,we are facing few of those things today…yet inspite of knwing that it is ouw own fault,we scarcely "really" care to erase it. Loved the emotions you penned in here. Thanks for sharing. Pen on!!!

[R.A. Youngblood]

Yeah, there are some connections between. I'm glad that you like it, thank you very much! :D

[Hester Vane]

I love this poem too. The formatting is brilliant, it provide a great visual as well as the actual meaning of the words.

[Barbara Walker]

I would drop the word "the" before the word "nature. The sentence, "Feel the breeze craving for your neck- just interrupted the flow of this piece for me. I just don't normally think of a breeze as "craving". Maybe caressing your neck? Other than that I enjoyed reading it.

[R.A. Youngblood]

Yeah, I can see now, thank you very much! :D

[Akashi]

Beautifully written, excellent job.

[R.A. Youngblood]

Thank you :D

[Akashi]

You're welcome, my dear. ;D

[Enigma]

I love it too. It outlines the bliss that the nature offers but also the deep unbridgeable gap that lies between the nature and ourselves. And it does end on a sad note. We want that blue sky to be within the reach of our hands. But it seems that our hands are tied to the ground we stand on.

Brilliant poem. Loved it. Simple and thought-provoking.

[R.A. Youngblood]

Yeah, they're tied with the most strongest rope to the ground. Thank you :D

[Coyote Poetry]

I love the poem too. I wanted more. You need to make a epic poem for nature. I enjoyed the description. Create realistic vision of what was done and can't be fixed. No weakness in the excellent poem.
Coyote

[R.A. Youngblood]

Yeah, I think I will add more! Thank you :D

[Tom]

Wouldn't worry too much about the grammar, the content, rhyme & flow were quite brilliant!

Top marks from me, great talent !

[R.A. Youngblood]

Thanks Tom :D