Lost in the Dark

It slowly crawled towards me,

Encompassing anything

That stood in its path,

Its burning fear chilled my bones,

Right to where it hurt the most--

 

It began not long ago,

When it started to strike me

In the sides and gut,

When my friend had betrayed me,

Tears began to pull me down.

 

Then another came along,

More powerful than the last

Nature took its toll,

When its severity cut,

My handicap pushed me down.

 

Then at last the final blow,

To come upon me

As my final destruction,

Nightmares in reality,

The chill struck me into depths.

 

--my heart.

And finally it reached me,

I was condemned in depths of

Sorrow pain and fear,

Dark shrouds swallowing my will,

I lay cold lost in the dark.

Reviews

[Philosophile. (Maddy)]

A very emotional, descriptive read indeed! I loved how you say its "burning fear", which suggests the darkness has its own light-like qualities. That was a confusing statement back there, eh? I also loved the pauses in this.

[Nigasa]

Yikes, so sad! Betrayal is dark and hurtful, as captured by the title of your poem. You have strong senses and you really nailed it here. Although I hope this was more fictional than real.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Betrayal is a very hurtful thing, your poem captures the darer side on human nature with raw and powerful emotion, excellent write.

[Mary Sessions]

this is a wonderful piece, it is sort of depressing, but still a very good peice. your imagery is great! keep up the good work!

[CJ]

Sabrina~
this is great, and just like justin said, very powerful. a very sad poem too.....

sorry about the petty little review. i'll see you soon....ok?

::Casey::

[Justin Tobey]

This is a very powerful piece of writing, Sabrina. I sincerely hope that you don't really feel this way, or that you feel better. The writing itself was incredibly intense. I love the idea of tears pulling you down. It gives them more meaning than merely having them FALL down. I hope you're feeling better. Excellent job on this one!