Determination

Pushing all the troubles aside, 

Doing the things I like. 

I am born to fly, in the dark, I'm bright

I'm not going home tonight. 

Mama knows how much I love her, 

But there are mountains to trek over. 

So, I'm not waking up at home next morning, 

I am sorry, I ignored your forewarning. 

I will keep going as far as I can, 

Heaven awaits me in this world. 

Even when I fall and get an injured knee, 

It will heal after I eat mama's recipe. 

Don't be stressed mama, I'll be back to you 

You'll be proud to see me anew. 

Untill then, let me imagine you saying, 

'My son, How was your life's  view?' 

Reviews

[Wajiha Nayeem]

ah.....
loveddddd it.......

[Farhan Shaikh]

Thankyou Wajiha

[Najam Us Saher]

There is confidence in you about your future which is really important to have because that shows how serious you are towards life. Your thoughts always aim higher keep it up...

[Farhan Shaikh]

Why no? If I have fellows like you here..

[Najam Us Saher]

That's really so kind of you, writers really motivate and encourage each other.

[emipoemi]

This is a powerful piece, and quite enjoyable. Strong imagery, great musicality, and a moving message. Three small notes, if I may:

1 - "awaits for me" is not an expression. It's either "waits for me" or "awaits me" (and the latter in my opinion actually helps the musicality more).

2 - "it will heal after I eat mama's recipe".....this line doesn't really fit the tone of the previous stanzas what with you trying to go off on your own, seemingly, and this line comes in, and it simply sounds awkward and doesn't fit the mood that you conjured and superbly developed in the previous stanzas.

3 - "Until then, let me close my eyes....." too wordy for the musicality to carry over. Take out "close my eyes" and it would flow better. "Imagine" can imply the image of closing the eyes.

Other than that, well done!

[Farhan Shaikh]

Thanks for the constructive suggestions..emi.. changes are in order..😁

[Sinbulvinter]

I like this. Really well written

[Farhan Shaikh]

Thank-you 😃

[Zoya]

Hmm, lately I've seen a lot of positivity in your pieces. You seem quite motivated...A real good sign! Just keep it going...wonders do happen. A teeny-weeny error- change 'stress' into 'stressed'...first line of the fourth stanza. Well written!

[Farhan Shaikh]

Thankyou so much Zoe😃

[Zoya]

No problem :)

[Carol Cashes]

Leaving the nest to fly! This is quite the "Later, Mom" note on the refrigerator. Well done, Farhan. Thanks for the Read Request. Reading good work is a good way to start the day.

[Farhan Shaikh]

Thankyou so much Carol Cashes😄

[AcasualPawn]

Well you wrote my childhood fantasy wish.........
Nicely penned farhan

[Farhan Shaikh]

Thank-you 😉

[AcasualPawn]

Well still, world is brutal