To be or maybe not to be

Please set me free.....to be. Transit state of blah dee dah. I zone into state of trance. Familiarity comforts my fears, and distractions are my home sweet home. Don't call my tool of comfort while I dream of a world where crushing candy and articles of self diagnosis have become my scape. I will not answer. Don't look at me. Eyes shouting disappointments as you contradict frustrations with fragile words of unintentional compliment. I see your disgust for what I am, for I feel it every day. Deep resentment churns rapidly with whirlwind of sadness, camouflaged by surprising spouts of anger.

Fire in my eyes..don't you see me cry?

I scream for you to hear, to understand. Don't walk away, just hold my hand.

Please see, right now we must live in a world of inequality and frightening uncertainty.

With a cry of devastation, I whisper quietly with hesitation, If you love me....please, don't let me be.

Author's Note

Sorry about the depressing tone. I hope to be able to write myself out of this funk soon.

Reviews

[V. P. Trujillo]

Even though one might be left, alone, they themselves can surely transform such a situation, such feelings, and bring Love back into them by giving way to acceptance, and self-cultivation.

That's how I handled heartbreak anyway, though not initially. Then again, this could be about something else entirely.

We all have our interpretations.

[Mike Defreitas]

Very interesting. Touching on the complexities of contrary feelings. I like how you move between them, acknowledge them, but still looking for a resolution.

There's a hope that runs beneath the medley of emotional terms. And perhaps, writing this out will help you process these emotions better.

Great write.

[Finding Drea]

Thank you Mike! It's been a type of self realization for me, and since I have been writing again it puts so many moments into perspective. I know this is somewhere I don't want to be for long. Thanks for the review!

[Eliza Mae]

This made me cry.. thank you for that, I can relate to your words here.

[Finding Drea]

Aw. I didn't mean to make you cry : ( it's beautiful that you could connect with this poem, yet sad that you're connecting at your age. I didn't feel this deeply till my early 30's. You sound a woman before your time, and sadly along with the wonderful can come a deep helplessness. I'm glad we can connect : )

[Eliza Mae]

I've been told I'm an old soul! I've been through a lot in these short 20 years, but I'm thankful for my hardships - because of them, I can connect to poems like these and pull through stronger :)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Depressing is one thing...but I deem this to be venting...just the way your words come out...if you had just bottled everything up...it would of came out either way...at least...with words...you have release the thoughts --- the cap is not so tight around your neck...you can loosen the rest and let the rest escape out...instead of bursting at the seams...

[Finding Drea]

It truly has proven to be a type of realization for me. Depression is new to me and without insurance I try to find different ways to push through! Thank you for the review : )

[Glen Yumang Manese]

you're welcome...

[misha]

This was a beautifully tragic piece. It pulled at my heart as I can connect to it. Great job!

[Finding Drea]

Thank you! I'm happy we can connect with our emotions. Thanks for the review!

[M.E.Lyle]

Hmm, yes, very depressing. I think writing things out sometimes really does help. I also go out for a run sometimes. It's amazing all the problems you can work out on the run. But running isn't for everybody. If you should take it up though, start out slowly...baby steps.
As far as the writing is concerned, I thought it was very well written and seemed to express your feelings quite well.
Here's a challenge for you, go back and rewrite this, only this time, make it humorous. Try to make yourself laugh as hard as you can. Be a clown. Ha, listen to me giving advice.
Good luck with your future.

[Finding Drea]

I love your fun and light hearted outlook. It is a wonderful contradiction to my current state, and reminds me that sometimes life shouldn't be taken so seriously. Thanks for the review!