A day to remember

It's my first part,where everything came down to crumble. It's about a girl I met on the second week.

A day to remember

It was my first day of applying in the college,It was a weird day.

Felt like meeting different type of people, surprisingly these people were of my age.

Felt like my interests are different from the whole world, my habits my everything. It just mix of different things … well, then i admitted it.

I am different, but shall that change?

Well, I thought of it many many many times… am I the weird one, or are they the weirdos ?

Is it even logical that the whole world is different and I’m the only one who is doing fine?

Well,I’d like to note out some facts about me.

I’m fat, overweight.

Not a lazy fat a*s but you can’t call me fit.

and that always made me feel different from the world and decided that I have to think different since I look different.

But seriously.

When I joined college I realized that even being fat has to change.

Days went by…

Weight is going down…

Felt I’m good,I’m okay.

I’m gaining friends.

I’m learning new cool math tricks.

I’m living in a new city.

I’m having a new lifestyle.

But all of that has changed.

When I came to know a girl.

A girl that treated me in a way that made my every day feel special.

We came to know each other from college, she was very sweet with me, that she always made me feel like ”She is gonna come and tell me she loves me in no time”.

And then our relation broke.

I think that was due to someone else.

I was unable to think or to live my life as well as I used to live it.

It wasn’t until that day, that I told her that I loved her.

But she said, she doesn’t feel the same feelings.

I was shocked.

But HOW?

Well, that doesn’t matter anymore.

Neither does the details nor the events matter anymore.

But ever since that day we broke up.

And my habits got back to where they were.

I’m no longer enjoying the being.

No longer following my fitness plans.

No longer thinking in a propriety way.

and really suffer from a lot of things.

But let’s be clear.

When we broke up,I really had bad time, I wake up and think about her and what I might have done wrong, until I sleep.

I began to feel so doomed.

And then all of that pain was cured on that day,I told her that I loved her.

But, does it matter?

I mean does matter if I was cured ?

Because I no longer, enjoy being alive.

I think, I’m no longer enjoying learning new stuff.

No longer having that happy time of my life.

Let me tell you something.

Writing that book was a part of my come-back plan.

I think that with writing that book, I’ll be motivating myself to move forward and learn from my mistakes, and that you have to learn from my mistakes too.

From where shall I start the story of my college then?

Day One.

Well I don’t really remember a thing about that day.

But I remember seeing people acting weird toward each other.

trying to show that they are better than the others.

But let me tell you.

with the experience I had with them, I realized that they all are bitter than each other.

But let me tell you.

I always thought that, no matter who they are,I have to make a first impression, so I started getting to know them.

I was totally open minded and care free while speaking with them, either dudes or girls. 

I made a lot of … let’s say at-the-beginning-friendships,a lot.

If that was to indicate something, it to indicate my potentiality of getting bunch of new friends.

my friendships started to grow not deeper but bigger, either with boys or with girls.

That motivated me to go to the college more.

Participate in activities more.

Enjoying life more.

Eating less junky more.

Eating more health more.

Dressing fancier more.

Caring for my appearance more and more.

Caring  for my language, my accent and my pitch more.

I think I was at the peek of my perfectionism.

And then… that peek broke and made me fall.

The fall.

It all started when I started a friendship with a girl.

She was pretty damn sweet with me.

She has always been texting me, talking to me.

And then came that damned day.

She wrote to me.

“I love talking to you, but I think you hate it”

I replied.

“I love talking to you, too, but I don’t get it, why you think i hate it”

She said.

“Because you don’t talk to me while in the college”

I apologies for that and really felt embarrassed. 

The next day.

I saw her in the class,I waved at her, Told her “Hi”.

She gave me a really awkward eye-blinking.

I was really confused about that reaction of her.

I am even still confused about it.

It was love mixed with shyness and being surprised.

But at that very moment I didn’t like to evaluate any conclusions.

After the class.

I went down stairs.

I was setting with my friends, we were joking and laughing.

And then.

She came, she was walking with her friends right behind us and then I looked at her while she was passing, But i noticed that she was staring at me, and she kept staring. then she came and stayed with us, and kept looking at me. 

God only knows how much that freaked me out.

at that moment, I told her.

“What’s wrong?”

And for myself  I said “What the F have I just done”.

I wanted to apologies for what I’ve done so bad.

But I also wanted to make sure that I didn’t misunderstand her.

After several days.

I asked her,”Would you accept it if i got you a gift?”.

Actually that had no occasion and I was expecting at least a question from her saying “And what is it for?”

But she didn’t.

And she told me “Yes”.

And let me tell you something, that girl was a type of girls that I never have ever met before.

I bought her the gift.

I gave it to her.

On the same day I committed an other mistake.

She told me “Thanks for the gift” and I replied “No thanks for friends”.

ever since, we broke up.

She no longer talk to me.

or say “Hi”

and after a week, she gave back my gift.

I felt horrible that was harsh.

I was harsh.

She was harsh.

And then months went by, and I’m still confused, unable to focus, unable to live my life the way I used to live it.

It was decided that I had to stop being a D and confess her my love.

But I was too late.

Life is about experiences, and chances that come and go.

But let me tell you something.

That wasn’t all the action in my story and that isn’t the real deal or at least it was one of  a lot of things that made my days bitter and bitter each morning.

My relations and friendships in the college totally crumbled ever since we broke up (Next chap) :)