A Writer's Lamenting

The banging of the keys filled my ears

The music pounded in the background

But I could not hear it

I could only hear them

 

Them who screamed in my nights

Them whose voices filled my days

Them whose ghosts haunted my eyes

Them whose whispers created worlds

 

Her story reminded me how to cry

His story reminded me how to love

His story reminded me of the madness

They reminded me of the sadness

 

The sadness of this world

The madness in his mind

He felt the only way to go

Was with a gun to his head

 

She only saw the world

In black and gray, until

She saw the blood flowers

And the blue skies

 

That were his eyes

He hid beneath the ice

Dead and unafraid

Of what the world

 

Had become

Until

They met

And there was

 

Love

But it was

Not to last

For this world is

 

Cruel

One son dead

Another lost

A husband, a father

 

Forced away

From them

Then

The world

 

Burned

And a monster

Arose

But he too

 

Felt the

Barrel of the gun

As he himself

Pulled the

 

Trigger

She lived on

He came back

Broken

 

Scarred, loved

They saw the

Wall

Rise

 

But never fall

Their son

Has returned

And love

 

Begins again

And here

The story

Ends

Author's Note

A summary of my book? Really? Have I run out ideas? I'm tired and just downright out of it, I typed the words as I heard them in my head. And if you've listened to your thoughts closely they. Sound. Like. This. All broken up and choppy. Anyway, any feedback/criticsm is greatly appreciated!

Reviews

[Leslie Philibert]

It is interesting the way the structure breaks down towards the end,it gives your poem a real feeling of increasing despair.I got a bit lost in the text,but I have the impression you have a lot to offer.Good work.

[Austin H.]

I for one enjoyed the "choppy" wording. I use it to put emphasis on vital points, or to force the reader to slow down and pay attention. So this is what I did. It helped me to see deeper into what you were saying.
It reminded me a little of Romeo and Juliet, near the beginning. Mostly the suicide part. Towards the end I found that it was much deeper, and seemed very sorrowful. Even though it ended on a happy note (I'm assuming) I felt that overall it gave a sense of helplessness against the world.

[(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞Emmett..]

I knew it! I recognized the story as I read through it and it reminded me of the book you wrote. If it's not the Flames of War then you can shoot me.

Yeah, it started out in sentences but then it went to shorter, choppy sentences. But when I read it out loud it wasn't as choppy as when I read it in my head. I like it though, especially when it got to the part about the monster. "And love begins again."