The Girl in the Rain

I imagined a girl standing in the downpour outside my window. This is what became of my vision.

Alone she stands, the girl in the rain.

Eyes cast downward, filled with her pain.

The droplets, as they fall, seem to call her name.

~

The wind picks up as she falls to her knees.

Her white dress is stained with the blood she sees.

The outside world cannot be.

~

Vision blurred, her tears mean nothing to her love.

So beautiful in her sorrow, she is like a wounded dove.

Getting up, she screams to the sky above.

~

Why? She will ask. Why don't they understand?

Her plea takes root in the heart of the land.

Not a soul shall hear, as though her voice is banned.

~

Broken is her heart, just like the sky.

Her whole world was shattered, with one little lie.

This is her one last chance to say goodbye.

~

Alone she falls, the girl in the rain.

Author's Note

This is my first attempt at actual poetry, so sorry if it's not that good.

Reviews

[Mioki]

This is wonderful for a first attempt. It seems as if you've been writing poetry longer, because this piece is defiantly good quality. The rhyme scheme you used worked well, and sounded nice when read aloud. The message and emotions of the poem were displayed wonderfully. A girl who is in such pain, as X_Emo_Princess_X already said, the reader immediately wants to reach out to her and discover why. Why is she standing out in the rain by herself, what could have hurt her so?

This is a very good poem. I think you have a talent for writing poetry; I'd love to read any other poems you write in the future.

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

This is really good...well written...
Great Job

[Sincerely, Alex]

[X_Emo_Princess_X]

OMG! you truly have a gift. that was amazing i loved it! It was so sad and emotional! It made you wonder what happened to the girl and what her story is. I feel so sorry for her! bad love bad. you could maybe make this into a short story and tell about her and why she is gone in the rain away from the one she loves. good job!

[Alisa_the_fluff_ball]

whoops! sorry! It's up now!

[X_Emo_Princess_X]

there isn't anything there...