The Art of Subconsion Illusions and Mental Repressions

 

 

Chapter 1 – The Beginning of The End

 

 

 

About sixteen years ago my mother gave birth to and outcast.

Ever since I was young I never fitted in with the “other” girls . They would comb their dolls hair, while I would set mine alight. I never liked dresses or skirts, and staying up all night talking about which guy I liked in school, and which one I would go to the prom with, and while they dreamed of becoming models I would dream of becoming the Supernatural, something that most likely only existed in my mind.

Thats how I become someone that was not wanted. Another person that the world was going to tell that they are nothing and never will achieve to be anything else but nothing. Well the worlds words are correct because here I am the little nobody and when I become a woman I will still be nothing.

That birth sixteen years ago was given to me Jasmine.

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Flashback - - Kindergarten, 1996, In The Valley Of The Sun

“Jasmine” I knew that voice anywhere, it was a voice I would answer to alive, asleep and even in my death,it was the voice of my father and best friend, Aro. He was literally the worlds best father. He was like an angel, descended from heaven, sent by a higher supernatural being, sent from a God to watch over me. A guardian angel.

“Yes, daddy...”

“Please be careful. We don't want to get hurt, now do we angel”

“O'coz not daddy.”

“That's my girl, now come here so I can give you a kiss.” My dad was the greatest person in the world, and I would always do what he asked of me. No matter what it was, because I was not afraid. I knew my father would not let me get hurt. His kisses was just like a piece of heaven alone, showing that he must truly be an angel.

“Now angel, I want you to do something very important for me” - He paused so I could tell him, that I'd do whatever he asked of me. I simply nodded for him - “Daddy might not be able to come home for awhile, so please do this one little thing for daddy. Angel, I need you to be a big strong girl for daddy, and look after mummy okay?”

“I am a big girl. 'Kay daddy. Love you daddy.” I kissed my father goodbye,not knowing how long I will be living without my dad, my guardian angel, my air supply, my dad was my best friend in the whole world, in-fact he was my world.

I got out of the car, as we had just arrived at the school. I watched my father drive away, and then went to class.

Jessica my arch nemesis, was giving me a hard time today, more so than any other day. I left my dad and mum in the morning, with kisses and hugs goodbye just like usual, except for my dad's one weird request of me to be a big strong girl, I could do that and that was why I might have been able to put up with Jessica's usual crap.

“Nah nah na na na. Jasoline, Jasoline, with her dolls on fire.” Jessica and her little posse were chanting and teasing me about me not playing with my dolls as a normal girl would. The saying that “kids can be so mean” was true in my case. I just wanted to ignore their stupid naive comments because their thoughts and views meant nothing to me.

“Pessica Pessica, pees herself at night.” I chanted right back at her, if looks could kill I would be dead right now, from their unmoving eyes.

“You stupid annoying little girl, you are a physco path, no matter how pretty you are. YOU WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US!!” She stomped off fuming mad at the words I had said. That was the first thought I heard in my head, from the moment I heard her thought I knew my life would never be the same again. Life as a girl in kindergarten was tough when you didn't belong with any “normal” person.

However, it was not as tough as the news that was waiting for me at home, as far as I knew my mum and dad had left for work as usual, dad was always home before mum and that was because mum did afternoon through to night shifts, probably trying to stay away as usual.

But today was not any normal day, first of all dad's request was strange but not bad, it was bearable and easy enough for me to live with, and then Jessica's cruel thought in my head was a bit worse, finding out your a freak never could be a good thing in anyone's books.

I walked toward my home – that was easy enough as well – the outside of my home looked perfectly fine, as if nothing bad had happen at all, it kind of look a bit like me, in some weird way it resembled the cover that hid the terrible events of the day.

I walked through the front door – that was easy enough too – the door was pretty like it always has been. An oak color brown, with its beautiful engraving. My dad said that it always reminded him of my eyes, both beautiful in their own way and both deep in their own ways. However now they both hid horrors of unbelievable events, supernatural things, abnormal events in our world.

What I did not expect was what horror the house hid from me. I could smell a scent that I was wearing as well but the scent inside the house was stronger, more fresh like an incense but it was unlike anything I had ever smelt before. It would be the scent of pureness, of love, of strength if they had a scent at all. The only thing I could put to those tributes of pureness, love and strength was an angel, a guardian angel and then the world spun, the blood it WAS of an angel and to be more precise a guardian angel, MY GUARDIAN ANGEL.

That was my fathers blood smeared all over the walls, trampled into the carpet that covered the floor, splattered onto the couch, spilling out of his beautiful body. The one thought In the room was my mother's, even though there was three strangely beautiful men in the room.

“Its all your fault Jasmine. If these men were not after you, they would not have killed your father. To save you, the greatest sacrifice has to be made. You MUST give them some of your blood and then take something no-one else can have. Your Virginity, Your Youth.”

My mothers thoughts was all it took to make the world spin again, today was the last day of being a normal 5 year old. Today was the last day of being a child.

End of Flashback

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Present time - - High school, 2009, In The Olympic Peninsula (Near Forks).

“Jasmine,” Someone was calling me, although I could not tell who because I could not even remember where I was. All I could see was my dad, standing in a bright light with his wings outstretched.

“Five more minuets mum,” as I slowly mumbled the words I heard the laughter, giggles and smirks of teenagers. Great I feel asleep during class, AGAIN!!

“Jasmine, I'm not your mother. Wake yourself up and take your insignificant white trash a*s to the headmasters office.”

My North American teacher Mrs. Cole always demanded everyone's full attention in her math class. Which was always quite difficult for me as maths board the life out of me.

Mrs. Cole stood at the front of the room with her index finger pointing towards the door. Her head screamed at me “Move it B***h.”

Why She always picked on me I will never know, However I did what she demanded of me and made my way over to the headmasters office.

I informed the recipionist that Mrs. Cole sent me to the headmasters office as I had fallen asleep in class again, while I handed her the note given to me to take to the office, she let me walk myself into my own personal judgment day.

“Jasmine, you have a lot of potential IF you applied yourself. As we always have these 'regular' visits I am sure you are well aware that I take personal interest in the many students in this school. But if your behavior continues to down-slide then I believe the only option we have left is to expel you. This is your tenth school and if you get expelled from our school I'm not sure what other option you may have. Please think about your behavior Miss. Scott.” Mrs. Beddingfold was an English Christian. She believed in taking care of the 'misbehaving' students as a mother would take care of her misbehaving child.

She wanted to turn the school into a Christian institution, with bible studies and daily pray in homeroom. Her claims were turned down as she did not own the school, her dreams were crushed by the ever diplomatic government.

“Oh go ahead and screw yourself Mrs. Beddingfold. I could not care less about another expellition.”

“very well then I'll just inform your mother and her drunk a*s boyfriend. You stupid little spoiled b***h.” I could literally see the steam coming out of her as the so called Christian swore at me in her head, little did she know that I knew what her thoughts were.

I was a “criminal” student because it made me stick out even more amongst all these stupid pea-sized brained cheerleaders and the steroid strong jocks. The smart but socially insignificant nerds, and just goody goodies.

I was the girl you would see in the school field eating lunch alone, while listening to her Ipod and sleeping. I was the girl you would not see in class because I ditched. I was the type of girl you would stare at not because I was popular or anything but because I would have multiple scars and piercings.

I was a heart-breaker for the boys (well at least the ones game enough to ask me out.) I was a threat towards the girls and I was down right bad, Bad to my thin scrawny bones.

As I was waiting for the bell to go, in Mrs. Beddingfold's religious sanctuary, her so-called office. I was day-dreaming of what my mother would say about my expellation?

What her drunk physco boyfriend would do to me this afternoon?

I hardly talked to them anymore just because... “You have the right to remain silent anything you say or do will be used against you for the rest of your insignificant life.”

On the wall stood a mirror - as long as the wall itself – I gave death eyes to the girl in the mirror and she just stared back, she was quite beautiful. Her long black hair reached to her waist and it was streaked with red. It was layered and the fringe covered her eyes, so you could not see the pain swelling in her gray eyes. She was paled skin and quite slim but not exactly a twig either. She had emo-rock styled clothing and her attitude could make a man squeal with fear.

The girl in the mirror was me but I refused to think I could be so beautiful, when the world around me was crushing its very positive figure. The girl in the mirror shared a crooked smile with me and it slightly lifted the worlds weight but only slightly.

The 3:00pm ear-shattering finish bell rang and as usual I was the first to leave. I turned on “Face Down” by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus on my Ipod.

As I did not have any snotty teacher I had to talk to and since I have had no friends since pre-school, I had no reason to want to stay. However because my uncaring mother and her drunk psycho boyfriend were at home, I had no reason why I would want to go home either.

I grabbed my Black-do-it-yourself hand-fashioned backpack and headed towards my locker which was near the small exit on the western side of the dull gray school halls of Black-wood High.

Near my Locker was Jessica the most popular cheerleader in school but who had always been my worst enemy since kindergarten with her was the hottest, most strongest and “like totally admired” jock, Aarow.

As Jessica left his side with a kiss that would make anyones stomach churn – he approached me- but oh no he wouldn't stop at that. He quickly pinned me to my locker with his body, since there was no-one around it was pointless to scream for help.

“What do you want Aarow?” My voice was dripping in venom, want to suck the arrogant naive human dry. Not many humans were that dumb to get so close to something as dangerous as me.

“I want your perfection, Jasmine.” he mumbled while kissing my neck.

“I'm not perfect. Just 'cause ya think I'm hot Aarow. Doesn't change who I am.” I could not let a human near me. If my father was an angel and he died to protect me, how much of a better fate would a human have?

I did not even know what I was, I just knew I was a monster. He didn't need to know my thoughts to know I was upset. He immediately stopped. His iron strength flowed through his body but as he gently lifted my chin he replied.

“Jazz your the most amazing person I have ever met, how could you even berate yourself to something that is less than perfect.” He kissed my lips and let me fall in his embrace. He whispered sweetly to me. “Jazz, I love you.”

“If you knew what I was you wouldn't love me, you would run now while you still have a chance.” He let me go as if he could read my thoughts. I ran off – to the only place I knew I would find peace.

 

Author's Note

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