This ~That I Rather

Petrarchan Sonnet

 

This~That I Rather~Italian Sonnet

                                       

This silent pain is deafening to hear
a hammering headache nailing my brain
this dreary dark night of pouring down rain
missing you so,wishing your presence near
this lonliness, a sad darkness I fear
a morose dread,more tense than mortal pain
this thought 'pon my mind,'ere we'll meet again
rememb'ring your sweet love words spoken clear

O' That pain would take leave,cease to exist!
and knife's jagged edge which hath cut heart deep
that each teardrop shed would bring thee to me
and chase my blues away,that by your kiss
brings blissful dreams whilst my weary soul sleeps
'Alas, love~ I know this~ that, cannot be

 

Reviews

[Dinesh Sairam]

Wow, I never have seen a sonnet on a dark note (I've seen ones with a sad tone, even mine, but never DARK.) And I loved this. Now I know sonnets can express darkness as well, thanks to you :) The imagery created stood beside my eyes. I could just quote the whole poem and I have nothing to critique :O Well done!

Keep writing.

[MadasonBlue]

Wow. The last line gave me chills. This is beautiful, and very, very sad.

[Lydia]

Wow, this is a great work. Your emotion is expressed so beautifully here that the reader cannot help but share in what you are feeling.

[Saosinkid (Death whispe..]

i lliked the way you ended this :)
good work :)

[Alaska Frost]

Beautiful poem!! The picture really sets the mood. I completely whole-heartedly agree with Adela and seriously, I don't really know how to express how great this poem is!!. Definitely going in my favorite :)

-Alaska Frost

P.S.- How do you write an Italian Sonnet?

[Adela Muresan]

O, this is just beautiful.
I appsolutly love the way you display the pain of losing your loved one, in all the immensity of your inner torment.
The last verse is the one that gives the poem grace, because it shows the courage to looking the truth in the eye.

A.M.

[angelina neves]

so sad and beautifully tender expresion of love! Wonderful sonnet!

[Helena]

Ohh so dreamy Fran. Such longing and pain penned so eloquently here.
This sonnet took me to a bygone day, where my imagination was fuelled by
the romantic words and the pain was so beautifully expressed. Good work!
Loved it.

Helena

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is really so dark and sad but so beautifully written!
Very intense piece of writing...


Thank for participating in "The pain of my lonely nights" contest :)

[Rainbowco]

Beautifully worded, each line finely crafted creating a work that feeds the emotions.

[forfila]

I really like this, so deep and strong, yet tender. Great poem. =)