Dark Thoughts

I spiral down a slippery slope
Entwined as I descend
I’m drowning in a kaleidoscope
As My mind begins to blend

Swallowed as Im consumed
As I sync into the abyss
Left as hollow as a vacuum
Neither extinct yet nor exist

Falling down this internal funnel
All life is drained from inside
Like crawling down an eternal tunnel
But no sight remains to guide

Condemned, I see a rope
I hold it tight but it’s just another chain
I see an end, is it hope
I see a light, it’s not, it’s a train

Reviews

[Quill]

tragic end, was almost led to belief there was truly a positive to the character's story

[Atlas]

I can see that your work here is somber and deeply intimate. However there are a few structural problems here. I find things hard to follow, as this assuredly takes place in the speaker's mind. Find the words to take me on the journey with you. Between stanzas 1 & 2 I find it jarring. I don't quite feel that it flows super well. At the end of the day though, I hope you find the light at the end of your tunnel.