Part φ, Chapter 1, Bristol—California

‘Roscoe, come on!’ my dad yelled at me as I stood in the centre of my bedroom, a box beside me, containing my stuff. My bed stripped of its sheets, mattress, and pillows. My walls cleaned of pictures. BluTackstained walls. Tiny pinprick holes where posters used to hang. Carpet creases where my bed and drawers and shelves and desk used to be. Everything about me ready to be shipped off to California. The rest ready to be left behind. ‘If you don’t move your arse you’re gonna get the smaller bedroom, so get the stuff you wanna bring and pack it in the truck.’

Yesterday I returned all my textbooks to my sixth form. I also gave all my books, clothes, games, and dvds to friends, charity shops, et cetera. There wasn’t much I wanted to bring with me.

My mum walked into my bedroom.

‘Just one backpack?’ she said.

‘Yeah,’ I said.

My mum opened my backpack and looked in. ‘Just some jeans and a few shirts?’ she said. ‘You don’t even have another pair of shoes. Are you absolutely sure this is all you want to bring with you?’

‘Well I gave everything away, didn’t I?’

‘Yeah. I guess you did.’

I didn’t say anything. Just stared at the ground with an empty mind.

‘Roscoe… I know it’s scary moving to another country, but this is what your father and I have dreamed of before we even got married. Before you and your sisters were even born. And besides, you’ll love California. You’re done with school, your degree is free because of our positions, you’ll get yourself a job, you’ll make tons of friends… you’ll love it.’

‘…’

‘The weather over there certainly beats ours,’ she added with a smile.

My dad entered my bedroom without knocking. ‘Come on, guys. Time to go. Say goodbye to Brian and Arthur, Roscoe.’

I bit my lip and left my bedroom, brushing past my dad, leaving my mum standing there.

Walking down the stairs, I saw my sisters exit the house, each with a box in their hands.

‘Hurry up, Roscoe!’ said Martha, the younger twin by a minit. ‘You excited?’

‘I’d say I’m more nervous.’

‘Why!? I can’t believe this is finally happening!’

‘Me neither!’ Michelle, the older twin, said to both me and Martha. ‘It’s gonna be great, Roscoe. Be like the Americans: optimistic!’

I smiled big and wide at my sisters, who smiled big and wide at me. Then I kept on walking, and so did they.

 

I made my way to my friend Brian’s house. Arthur was there too, like he promised.

‘You guys all right?’ I said as I hugged Brian.

‘Yeah I’m all right,’ Brian said as he hugged me back. ‘You?’

‘Kind of.’

‘So this is it,’ Arthur said as we embraced.

‘Yeah,’ I sighed as we walked into Brian’s kitchen.

‘You wanna cup of tea before you leave?’ Brian said.

I nodded, biting my lip.

‘Biscuit?’ Brian said as he flicked the kettle’s switch.

I nodded, still biting my lip.

‘I’m not gonna lie, Roscoe,’ Arthur said, ‘I’m kinda jealous. I’d love to live in the USA, let alone go there for a holiday.’

I didn’t even nod.

‘And California too,’ Brian said. ‘If you’re gonna live anywhere in the States it might as well be somewhere like Stanford. Or New York.’

‘Or San Francisco,’ Arthur said.

‘Or Texas,’ Brian said.

‘Or Washington, eh, Roscoe?’

I crunched my eyes and turned my head to the side.

Breathing started to get a little hard.

With my thumb and finger I wiped my eyes.

‘You gonna be all right, Roscoe?’ Brian said.

I nodded my head as I continued to hide my eyes.

‘We’ll still be in contact, Roscoe,’ Arthur said. ‘We can always email each other and chat on Facebook.’

I nodded again.

‘Yeah,’ Brian said. ‘Skype too. This isn’t the end, Roscoe.’

I inhaled deeply and sighed.

‘Take a sip of your tea,’ Arthur said, handing it to me.

I picked up the tea and took a sip.

Brian’s mum Sasha came into the kitchen. Her eyes widened when she saw me. ‘Hey, Roscoe! This is finally it, eh? Cal i for ni a! I’m so jealous! When I was eighteen I begged my parents to book me a holiday in California but they simply didn’t have the money, yet you’re going to live there. You must be so excited!’

I sniffed and gently nodded my head.

‘Hey,’ Sasha said before she walked over to hug me. ‘Chin up. You’re about to go on an adventure, Roscoe. Don’t be sad. Be excited. Very few people get the experience you’ve been given.’

‘Okay,’ I said as Sasha rubbed my back.

‘Anyway,’ Sasha said. ‘Sorry for interrupting you boys. I just wanted to wish you well, Roscoe.’ Sasha then left the kitchen.

‘When do you have to leave?’ Brian said.

‘Soon.’

‘Then let’s give you your present before it’s too late,’ Brian said with a flick of his head at Arthur, who left the kitchen with Brian. ‘Don’t follow us.’

After half a minit of waiting, Arthur and Brian returned.

‘We wanted to give you something nice before you left but this was all we could think of,’ Arthur said. ‘I mean, it’s not much, especially since you gave us all those games and science books, but we thought you’d like it.’

Brian handed me a framed picture of the three of us at sixth form, posing for a photo my dad took of the three of us after we finished our A Levels. The three of us standing beside each other as we held the sheets of paper revealing our grades.

‘We signed it and all,’ Brian said. ‘I, uh, I also thought you’d like to sign it,’ he added as he offered me a pen.

Goddamn I just couldn’t hold it in. I started to cry super hard as I wrapped my arms around Brian, who wrapped his arms around me. We hugged for a solid minit before we broke away. Then I hugged Arthur for our own minit.

‘I’m guessing you like your present,’ Arthur said.

‘Yeah, of course,’ I said with tearyeyed laughter.

‘You still wanna sign it?’ Arthur said.

‘Sure,’ I said with a nodding head.

I opened the frame and signed my name in between Brian and Arthur’s signatures in the corner of the photo before I gave Brian back the pen.

Then we all heard a knock at the door.

Sasha walked past the kitchen to greet the knocker.

‘Roscoe! It’s your dad,’ I heard before he walked into Sasha’s kitchen to collect me.

‘Hi there, Brian,’ my dad said as he shook his hand. ‘Arthur,’ Dad said as he shook his hand. ‘If we don’t leave right now, Roscoe, we’re gonna miss our flight.’

I nodded my head.

‘I guess I’ll see you guys later then,’ I said.

‘All right, Roscoe,’ Brian said as the two of us hugged. ‘See you later.’

‘Yeah, mate,’ Arthur said as we hugged. ‘Don’t impregnate too many Cali girls.’

Brian, Arthur, Sasha, my dad, and I chuckled.

‘Cheers, lads,’ my dad said as he and I walked out of Brian’s house with his hand on my shoulder. ‘Cheers, Sasha,’ my dad said as we passed her out the door.

‘Bye, Sasha,’ I said.

‘Roscoe, remember, be optimistic,’ she said.

I nodded my head.

Sasha closed the door.

‘So what’ve you got there, Roscoe?’

‘Brian and Arthur framed that picture you took of us at the end of sixth form. We all signed it too.’

‘Thank goodness you’ve finally got something from England to take with you to California.’

 

Dad and I walked back to our house to get the last of the boxes: mine. Mum looked at the photo and said she liked it. As did my sisters.

The car ride to the airport was incredibly annoying. Michelle and Martha wouldn’t stop blabbering about all the things they were looking forward to doing, what Hollywood would be like, how great Venice Beach would be, the restaurants, the shops, and all that. I’m happy for them �" I really am �" but when you’ve just hugged your best friends goodbye for what’ll most likely be months if not years, I would’ve appreciated some silence. But I didn’t want to dampen their spirits for my sake, so I let them dream. I could also see in the smiling corners of my parents’ mouths their collective dreaming. I was so happy for them. This was the culmination of twelve annual summer holidays in ten different states. (California (thrice), New York, Washington, Texas, Louisiana, Arizona, Florida, Colorado, Massachusetts, and Hawaii.) I just wish I shared their exuberance. Michelle and Martha were sad to hug their friends goodbye, but they were more happy than sad because of the future they had awaiting them. They were proud too. Goddamn were MnM’s friends jealous. (MnM’s my nickname for my sisters.) Mum and Dad also had friends to hug away, but like MnM, they didn’ seem too bothered. We had no extended family to say goodbye to though. I have no cousins since both my parents have no siblings, and all my grandparents are dead. Just the five of us. Just the five of us who arrived at Bristol Airport within thirty minits of driving, and before I could even blink my eyes were on a plane with a captain telling us not to worry about the turbulence as a stewardess showed us how to pull a cord on a life vest in case we all crashed into the Atlantic Ocean.

 Over the course of the elevenhour flight I watched four films I’d still never seen: The Big Lebowski, American Beauty, Pulp Fiction, and Mr Smith Goes to Washington. I also took two dumps, slept for an hour, sucked on about four hundred sweets after my ears popped, and stared out the window as a crap saccharine pop song about life changing played.

And after half a day spent flying five thousand two hundred fortythree miles at roughly forty thousand feet in the air I arrived in my new home. The land of fake tans, celebrities, and Bret Easton Ellis novels, and goddamn was the sun bright.