The Snail Who Loved Lettuce

A Story by Floophey

A snail journeys through a garden in search of his favorite cuisine; lettuce.

The garden snail looked up at the gargantuan before it. The thing was light green at its peak, growing steadily darker on the way down to settle on a soft brown where its roots stabbed the earth. It was midday, but its shadow spread out as if a solid mass, about to crush all that beheld its greatness. It was a lettuce. Unbeknownst to the snail a squad of worker ants were bearing down on it. The snail would make a much better meal than the fallen seeds they had been scrounging. Too late the snail realized it was surrounded and for a moment, it panicked. Two of the ants crawled up onto its shell while the remaining three attacked from the front. The snail waiting until the ants were almost touched when it excreted mucus that would slowly drown the tiny creatures. Safe from the immediate threat the snail curled back into its shell rolling forwards and crushing the last two would -be-hunters on its back. Unaware of its victory it remained curled up in its shell and fell into a sleep amongst the aftermath of the battle.

When the snail awoke it broke down the membrane sealing off its shell and squeezed out. The sun was setting and the orange glow made the brown shell a brilliant sheen of gold. Sliding over the broken carcasses it continued on its way towards the base of the lettuce. The battle had taken place directly beneath the goliath's gaze and the snail did not have far to go. The snail sampled the plant and satisfied with the flavor, started to climb. The stem was hard and unpleasant to chew upon so the snail headed further up to the soft, light green leaves. Passing a cluster of aphids the two species ignored each other. Both were grazers and there was plenty of sustenance to go around. The snail had a way to go. Its body rippled as a spasm sent it forward another millimeter, leaving a trail of viridescant slime. Spasm after spasm it inched its way up to the top, where the juiciest leaves awaited. Already there was another snail there. It had enjoyed almost half the first leaf and was resting. Our snail made its way over to what it saw was the most succulent place to start its banquet. It sniffed the leaf, and opened its mouth for a bite...

“Look mommy! Its burst!”

The single mother turned towards her child and walked over, the familiar feeling of warmth blossoming in her chest. The toddler screamed in pleasure as he poured salt onto a snail on a lettuce. He laughed as a snail frothed and squirmed. His mother sighed and picked up both snails and threw them into the road outside. “Come sweetums, let’s get you all cleaned up and fed, how about a nice salad?”