Silence

                                                       SILENCE

Thoughts, O' thoughts, with yourself you share,

In silence deep, with no one to care.

True faces, you realize,

Of the ones, in disguise.

Or you ponder what may be,

What you further shall see ?

But for now, there's no agony of any kind,

Deep within,is silence in mind!

No people around, their own trumpet who blow,

Or their odious nature,who don't clearly show.

It's a world of your thoughts; for you, it's prime,

Although, it may be there, for a limited time.

Deep within, you hear different sounds,

You see, you speak, beyond the bounds!

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

A good rhyming poem. Thank you for penning...:)

[Austin Coleman]

Insanity momentarily staved off but can ultimately be eluded and peace triumph. niceeee.

[Avinash]

Reading it gave peace to mind. And you write well

[KeeD]

Hi Gurdeep, great poem, for my first read of you I really like your style and vocab. Just a tip every new sentence doesn't have to start with an upper case letter, make your poems more personal by not being so perfect in the presentation. I loved the concept of this poem brother, It screams a Nirvanic feel. I loved the closing lines "Deep within, you heart different sounds, You see, you speak, beyond the bounds!"
Very intelligent writing and this is indeed a reflective piece with tons of impact on the readers day. Great job!
I don't know if it's just me but tell me how you feel this sounds, your line "No people around, their own trumpet who blow," Instead of who, you could change it with "No people around, their own trumpet to blow," the next line makes perfect sense then, cause the nature is given a personification of not showing.

[Gurdeep...The Lost]

Thankyou Cynical for your helping review.
And yes about that line: if I change it to "No people around, their own trumpet to blow," then this line doesnt make sense, eh? Like i mean, there are no people around 'who' blow their own trumpet so :"No people around, their own trumpet who blow,"...but writing 'to blow' wud sound diferent. wat do u feel?

[KeeD]

See it's all about sentence structure it makes sense when you say there are no people around 'who' blow their own trumpet, where as "No people around, their own trumpet who blow," sounds broken, but there's always poetic liberty. "No people around, their own trumpet to blow" that means no one around can blow their own trumpet which is exactly what you want to pass as the meaning of that line. But I don't know it's something so small and doesn't at all change the meaning of your poem which is great by the way, I may even be wrong, i'm no expert. Keep writing great job Gurdeep

[Gurdeep...The Lost]

Hmm.. thanku anyways ..and yes as you suggest for 'to', it can also be written ""No people around with their own trumpet to blow," .. using 'with' sounds more gud ..isnt it?

[KeeD]

yes, perfect fix :3

[chaotic katie]

i love the rhyme scheme of this peice and it flows well too, overall, nicely written piece. -katie

[KeeD]

Katie has been reviewing many poems on WC for a long time now, she knows what shes talking about and if she leaves a positive and good review means you're doing something right! So keep it up Gurdeep, much respect - CM.

[Gurdeep...The Lost]

Thank you katie..and yes thank you CM :-)

[chaotic katie]

anytime, and thanks for the positive feedback on my reviews CM.