Fruit Salad

My mind gets to wandering
And I think about you
My brain ponders us
The glory days and how we ended
The pain I caused because
You were leaving and I was afraid
Unable to cope with the distance
I had no trust in myself
I didn't believe you that we would be fine
So carefully I said goodbye because
I didn't want to hurt you like
the others had done
Though still you said you
wanted to kill yourself
It pulled endless guilt into my mind
Weighing down my stomach
Filling my body with sickness
I gaze upon my thighs
Skin ghostly pale like a bowl of milk
Strawberry and cream scars symmetrical and parallel
Guilt translates to a dull ache for more
A senseless yearning for cherry slashes and raspberry gashes
Envisioning juice dribbling down my limbs
Collecting on the cool tile floor in a fragrant vermillion puddle
The Cool Whip whites of my nails dig into fleshy peach palms
raising swollen dragonfruit pink crescents
Grape and kiwi bruises blossom like sunflowers
I slather myself in imaginary injures
Wishing I could do the real thing
Wishing that it wouldn't only hurt you more

Reviews

[Ashira Macy]

Um, wow! This was amazing. Dark, creepy, and sad that the narrator feels so compelled to inflict so much self pain. I loved that you ended it with them not actually ripping their skin apart into physical shreds to match their poor mind. Amazing emotional work.

[Celestial Witch Child]

Thank you! (:

[Dayran]

Some decisions take a longer time to settle in and create acceptance. Its the nature of all decisions when dealing with people.

[Celestial Witch Child]

Indeed so.

[Nontani]

And this is why we write. Love you.

[Celestial Witch Child]

Love you too. (:

[Olivia Marie]

It's different. I love the imagery. I think this particular poem would have read smoother with some stanzas. However, it was great :)

[Celestial Witch Child]

Thanks. (: