My final breath, a sigh

Accepting the inevitable

I had neither time nor patience
and this I so relayed,
annoyance being the tone I used
but still the stranger stayed.

I bid him sit if stay he must
offering him a chair,
this he declined without a word
but with a steely glare.

That chilled my bones to marrows core
withering my very soul,
a shadow crossing o'er my heart
a shadow black as coal.

It was then I knew my time was his
he'd called to still the hands,
to lead me from this mortal coil
and to the promised lands.

So silently I left with him
my final breath a sigh,
of sadness that my life was done
and this my time to die...

Reviews

[Lorry]

Extremely elegant write, portraying the inevitable final call with grace and of course, that final sigh. I wonder if I'll be so calm when the grim one knocks. Maybe he tweets these days instead.
Superbly captured piece.

[Gee]

Cheers, appreciate the review

[Baby Ricochet]

I really like this. Great rhyme

[Gee]

Cheers, simple rhyming with simple words, I know my limits.

[SJ Mullins]

You write about subjects some wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole, but you do it ever so well. I have really enjoyed what i have read so far. Write on! :)

[Gee]

Thank you, appreciate your review

[Lost, n'MT]

Excellent flow, very well written, and full of so much deep emotion that it can be felt so strongly. Really enjoy the rhymes as well, great job!

[iamshadowine]

this is so good! i really like the composition of your poem! keep writing :D

[Gee]

Thank you....

[Amaclaire]

I really love this! and how you have written it, I read it a few times, very poignant.

[Gee]

Thank you..

[Marianne Rose]

Like this poem a lot- at first I didn't pick up that it was death calling- expected that he was there to assault you or kidnap you- so I loved the surprise that it was death coming to call. A very powerful picture of your image of death, and the resignation and sadness in having no choice but to go with him. Going back to re-read it, I also liked the feeling "I have no time for this" - the impatience and irritation you voice, which seems just like what some of us would feel, "not you, not now! I have no time for this- still have so much to do!"

[Gee]

Lol, I think any kidnapper might think twice as I'm a hairy arsed builder( 'scuse my French ) and if the boys on site knew this was a pastime of mine I would get ribbed mercilessly. Thank you, glad you enjoyed

[Marianne Rose]

Your secret's safe with me! Lol

[Gee]

Phewwwww, thanks

[Carolynn]

Great rhyming with this one, delivering the message of death with chilling finess - my only thought is that the word "was" in the final line isn't really necessary as I feel it reads a bit more fluently without it and still delivers the message :)

[Gee]

Change made, thank you

[andrew mitchell]

a chilling write indeed a grim reaper calling.

[Gee]

Cheers mucka, hope you're well

[Shannon]

Oh, I like the first few stanzas, after the end is revealed. I know there is a very serious message here and it's well communicated. But the thought of dismissing death, demanding he go, so entertaining...

[Gee]

Thank you...