My Best Angel

This is an older piece of mine and my writing has increased in quality since then but this piece still means the world to me.

Ever since I was a child, religion was shoved down my throat. I can recite to you the old and new testament stories with complete accuracy; my current beliefs didn’t stem from resentment from over exposure, but instead from the death of my best friend. I convinced her to bring her long term girlfriend to her church, their love for God was something they shared. Despite the stares and the gawking that surrounded them, the smile on their faces blocked them all out. My best friend was a 10 year member of the church; She sat two rows from the front, three seats from the middle; the next Sunday her Hymn book was scribbled with profanity. My best friend loved to bake, on Easter Sunday her meal was filled with dirt, and her potluck contribution was thrown to be food for the birds. Slowly she was shunned from her true home, a steeple that had seen her on her knees and standing tall.

No words from me could fill the hole this left her with, and she diminished under the weight of ‘sin’. She left this world in hopes that God would forgive her, the pain of a slow death being her penance.

My best friend used to sing loud enough to reach the angels, now she is an angel.

My best friend used to sit two rows from the center and three chairs from the middle, now her seat is occupied by someone new, someone straighter.

My best friend used to bake, now I hold her recipes close and pray one day it will get easier.

Her girlfriend killed herself a month later. Most people call this a tragic love story of a couple too far gone, I call it a martyr of a lost cause. The world goes on without them, the choir continues to sing, and my faith leaves me as quick as it came.

I pray my best friend met a God who held her in his arms until all her tears dried. If I never see her smiling face again, I’ll be okay with that if only to know that she’s happy.

My dear, lost sister, I will hold tight to your memory and not my cross in hopes that my lost faith will makeup for the sin that took your breath away. Let you rest, let you pray, let you find peace in arms that aren’t mine. But I promise  I’ll still sing for you, My Angel, on Easter Sunday.

“Forever and forever, farewell. If we do meet again, we shall smile; if not, why then this parting was well made.”

Reviews

[Natasha Zoya]

I understand this all too well. I was raised in the Mormon church and I firmly believed homosexuality could be cured until I left for college. It's really eye opening to realize that whatever religion you came from has done more harm to others than good

[Gianna Anaya]

This piece wasn't meant to diminish the help that religion gives to some people because it honestly does most of the time but for the LGBTQ+ their lifestyle is very rarely accepted by some religions. I hope whether you're homosexual or otherwise that you have found your own stemming of faith, whether it s religion based or otherwise.

[Gee]

Jeez that's sad. Never had a religious bone in my body and it astounds me constantly that so many folk base their lives around a 2000 year old story, it's as if they need to justify being here.
The older generation, folk in their 70's, 80's it seems will never accept same sex relationships whereas today generation and my daughter's generation are at last becoming more accepting of each person's right to love whoever they choose.
Enjoyed your writing Gianna

[Gianna Anaya]

Thank you for your review!
While I, myself, am not religious I do understand the appeal for other people and I applaud their ability to believe the way they do so I refuse to criticize their "2000 year old" belief system if that's what allows them the comfort that they need in their final days. Great to hear your input regardless!

[Gee]

My pleasure. Wonder if Harry Potter will be adorning stained glass windows in the year 4000 ???

[Gianna Anaya]

If I have something to say about it, I hope so.