Ours

Our love, it has ups and downs... but I hope it's here to stay.

Our past
Is past.
We've had good times
And bad.
Think about the laughter.
Rollercoaster of happiness.
Use that as a token
Of my undying love.

Our present.
A present,
A gift that is always happy
Not sad.
The best I can receive
And give to you in return.
Offering from the heart
An unconditional love.

A future,
Our future?
Through the bad times
And worse.
You brave the barren desert,
Nothing is too difficult.
Gaining all you can
From an oasis of love.

Author's Note

I'm not so sure about the last four lines...?

Reviews

[S.J.Floreen]

I like how it flows from the past to the present to the future. I do like the last for lines, but have to be honest that I'm not sure how they really work with this poem. The do sound a bit out of place, but they are nice sounding. I'd hate for you to get rid of them all together. Perhaps you could add them on to a different poem, but then that leaves the problem with how this one would end, wouldn't it?

[Gary H]

have to say I think this is a really nicely written poem. I find it very difficult to write in such a revealing way - as least I don't put such work on site, so I think you have been very brave here. this has a nice balance as well showing a prosperous relationship. Good luck!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Hey there, sorry have not been by in awhile but this made it worth the trip FABULOUS! I like the last lines. I think, "You push through the desert" would sound better something like this, "you brave the barren desert" It only adds a syllable but the like sounds between "brave" and "barren" eliminate the elongated effect to help the flow. Just a suggestion, what do you, the author, think? Feel free to use that line if you like, I would be honored. :o) I really love this poem. It has logical progression and a slight sense of humor in its musings. To me, brave the barren desert means giving even when nothing evident is shown for the effort...but then, in the midst, an oasis of love...the good times may be far and few between but they not only help the pilgrim survive but to endure the times of scarcity. Great job on this.