Honest Deceit

Casually he saunters,
Passers-by passing by.
Casually he looks
Over his shoulder.
Casually his hand leaves his pocket.
Lifting the lid with the other.
Casually the red is shoved in the bin,
Steadily but hastily.
Casually his hands go back in his pocket.
Red bag? Red box? No, red clothe.
Casually he saunters.

Casually he kisses his wife.
Glad to be home.
Casually loosens his tie
And goes upstairs.
Casually he sits in his comfy chair.
Junior and Liz embrace him, "Welcome home."
Casually he tells his wife:
"A weekend of hard work!"
Casually his dinner is brought,
His favourite - perfect.
Casually his wife kisses him.

Casually he smiles.
A trill comes from his pocket.
Casually he gets his phone.
His mistress.
A text: "I left you a present, checked your pocket?"
Casually he replies:
"Yes."
Casually remembering her
His eyes glaze over.
Casually he smiles.

Reviews

[Zephyr]

wow. what a piece.

the only thing i noticed was on the 10th line you put"clothe" instead of cloth or clothes. wasn't sure if you noticed or not.

aside from that, wonderful write. people can be surprising =)

[Sea Dreams ~marina~]

I am chuckling to myself. So deceitful, yet I wanted to learn more about his affair. I am surprised at myself as I am married and this subject would normally hit a nerve with me, but hey, you did a great job because now I am feeling open-minded. LOL :)
-M

[[untitled]]

Passers by - passing by, I love this the images, the observation you are a keen eye

[Barry S. Maltese]

I believe everyone should have at least ONE memory that they can look back at when they are old and fading that brings them that special smile. . . . but a Vow is a Vow. It is a shame that you did such a great job with this poem, because now I have to say that I like it when the topic stinks (LoL)

Great Job!!

[Jack Frost]

luv it luv it ;P

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I see "casually" standing in opposition to the massive deception, to the horrific destruction of trust. Yet he views this casually. I am also curious about the "surprise" that the mistress left. I see more. I see a clever way of trying to introduce the awful truth.

Like throwing a gernade into a family.

[Cdnsurfer]

Interesting piece you have here, Gillzy. I not sure about the repeating "casually" as it's an adjective, and adjectives tend to weaken the sentence (usually), but overall I like the impression I'm left with by the end of this piece. You told us a story about a man you saw, although we don't know if you know this about him, but that's just great! You told this story well. I would've liked to see a bit more description on who he is, what he does, who his family is, who his mistress is? Well you open with him shoving the panties into the trash, you'll want to focus our eyes tighter at that moment. It's okay to tell us what it was. The reason is because the connection to the mistress doesn't happen until later. It really doesn't ruin the suspense. Don't make it "perfect", because obviously his home life isn't. It works better if it's slightly wrong, but they "act" like it's all ok.

Fun! Good to have fun with your pieces, eh? Cheers, Gillzy! So, how do you like writing prose poetry? Thanks for the smile.

[Lady Muck]

good story, simple and affecting. It starts "casually", innocently and it's only the plot that thickens, the tone stays even. I like it.