Howling at Dusk

Howling at Dusk

A Poem by Llysofar
"

The strange presence of nature, carrying on regardless...

"
Previous Version
This is a previous version of Howling at Dusk.



The good-bad trees
loom over me
Like giants
with
no green.
No leaf of light,
no sun in sight,
no love
to make us seen.

But dense
inside the forest,
dusky birds
and insects live -
the rabbit's on,
the squirrel's by
a glade
we've never seen.

In dim moonlight,
the owl's whys
vibrate to earthly tunes -
and if they're gone,
we''ll still be here,
but we
can't light the moon.

© 2008 Llysofar


Author's Note

Llysofar
The last line was originally `fight the moon'.



Reviews

I love the atmosphere of this. The imagery makes me imagine a dark forest, half-lit by moonlight. I imagine the narrator to be some woodland nymph, actually. I like the idea of "light the moonlight" as opposed to "fight" better, to be truthful. This poem, like others has a sweet, otherworldly voice which I really enjoy.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You have done well to avoid the obvious in this piece. You make some surprising word choices and images. The first stanza is wonderful and I love the ending. I love the line about the "dusky birds," but that second stanza lacks some of the clarity of the first and last and it loses its rhyme. Overall, though, a good work.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I hesitated about the last line, and I think `Light the moon' is better. I can't work out whether I'm a human or a wolf in this poem - perhaps someone give me an opinion.!
Thank you
{{}}


This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 16 Years Ago



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26 Views
3 Reviews
Added on February 8, 2008
Last Updated on February 9, 2008

Author

Llysofar
Llysofar

About
Aloha, Mahalo - If anyone can remember any of the poetry that was lost, congratulations and thank you {{}}. There is just one I can't find on Google, which I think was called `Fracture'. I'm sorry to .. more..

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