Such a beautiful mind

Such a beautiful land her mind could be

Filled with vivid images of a child’s dream

Filled with the thoughts of a young girl’s love

Filled with the thoughts of a happy future

 

But take a step into her depths

Past the facade the world sees

Into the dark place that she calls hell

Bodies scattered across the floor

Some still groaning out in pain

Their very last breath escaping their lungs

Screams fill the air as you enter the front gates

Every building burning an eternal flame

This place, a forever burning inferno

Her anger consumes her

 

Do you see the fear?

The hate

The rage!

The sadness within this little girls mind

Every bad memory playing back

Just beyond her false happy mask

She’s tried so hard to disregard these feelings

But it is beyond her power

She just wants to fall apart

Everyday she cries behind her fake smile

And chuckles out a forced laugh every now and then

Just to please an ungrateful world

 

She’s done now

She’s letting herself fall apart

She’s letting herself break

She’s giving up and caving in

She can’t take the pressure anymore

She only puts up a show for the ones she loves

But she can do this no longer

She’s dead inside now

 

She can’t smile 

She can’t laugh

She can’t even breathe

Without feeling the sadness

It overwhelms her

Her body

Her mind

Her soul

She’s sorry she couldn’t keep up

With her own charade

 

Such a beautiful land her mind could have been

Filled with vivid images of a child’s dream

Filled with the thoughts of a young girl’s love

Filled with the thoughts of a happy future

But that girl no longer walks the face of the earth

Author's Note

My first poem I have written in quite some time. I may be a little rusty at writing now, so ways to improve this one are welcome. Thank you for reading. :)

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

A good one for a first in some time...:)..................

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

You are brilliant at your age. Sometimes, a child with unhappy family feels what you have described. Negative thoughts- hell in mind- but a true friend can lead to the right place- a true beautiful land even in somebody's mind.

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Mimi,

This is a tremendously powerful and moving poem. The writing is excellent. The emotion of the piece is so sad, desperate, and scary. It makes you extremely worried for this person, worried to the point that you want to do something, perform some type of intervention, relieve some of the internal pressure.

Your abilities as a poet continue to improve. Do I see rustiness here? Not a bit. On the contrary this is one of your best written and powerful pieces. Keep up the good work and don't be gone for so long in the future. We want more of your poetry.

High marks on this one, Mimi!

My very best regards,

Rick

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Man...

This was dark, but written with killer heavy handed imagery. This story was a journey that went so deep into the soul..I thought we'd bottom out. I think your candid speech made it powerful and sincere. Its sad to think of pain that for reasons of its own..can't be shared..even with the closest of friends and family. Having to bear such trouble alone gives this poem its impact. I think you did brilliant job.