Me on the Inside

Written 1/15/15 This is about the two 'sides' of me. How the darker side always manages to take over more then it should. [This is one of my faves]

Suffocating

Dying to get out

This tiny voice

Says inside me

She was swallowed

Whole..

And shoved down

Deep inside my soul

Crawling..

Scratching..

Trying to break

Free..

Needing to

Breathe..

But I hush

Her cries

Make her

Believe the lies

That they

Tell...

They never know

How... Those curses

Burn... Inside her head

Long after they're said

A battle wages

Between the two sides

Who will win?

You decide!
(End)

Author's Note

A friend suggested I write a part 2 for this. Basically it would be about the 'tiny voice'. When I learn more about that side of myself, part 2 will come. :]

Reviews

[....................]

oh my, I think it's already been decided... that darker side clearly has a hold over the meek and mild voice inside, at least in this case... i believe that this darkness lives in everyone, some are good at keeping it quiet, but others not so much... this is solid and I do look forward to PART II, when ever it manifests itself :)

[GreenEyedPoet]

Thanks Tom!
Haha well yes for most of my life that darker side as been in control of things and sometimes it still is. But now I'm working more on trying to keep the lighter/gooder side in control, sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't lol. I kind of like the darker side though, so I don't keep it completely quiet. If I did, I'd probably never be able to write anything! lol.

[....................]

It's all about balance, Ashley and you seem to be doing it very well... your conversations a light and airy but your writes are still driven by darker timbre... at least that's how I see it... :)

[GreenEyedPoet]

Very true, it is all about balance. Haha yes a lot of the time my conversations are on the lighter side but they can be pretty dark too. Just depends who I'm talking too lol.

[Misery]

A brave and honest revelation, dear GreenEyedPoet.
Part 2 might just be a 'hell of a thing' for you. It is hard to know what we will find when we begin looking inside. Best of luck, dear poet.

[GreenEyedPoet]

It'll definitely be something different for me lol.
Thanks Misery. :)

[Misery]

Always welcome.

[sereenaoutloud]

this is great, you can really feel the struggle and i like the format too.!

[GreenEyedPoet]

Glad you liked it! :D

[sereenaoutloud]

sorry stalking a little. lol oh and yes you should write a second piece from the quiet voice. Would be great!

[GreenEyedPoet]

Haha stalk all you want hun. As for part 2 that may or may not happen one day lol. Don't really know how to write about the 'tiny voice', I don't know that side very well lol.

[NeiL ArandA]

This is a newly penned piece about the persona's inner struggle . The two photos of a wolf staring at each other is a perfect depiction of that inner struggle . The color of the wolves furs are good illustration of that inner conflict of good and evil nature existing at the same time inside a person heart. So I will try to piece everything what the author may be saying here. Taking from the confession she professed from her profile page . A regular or typical person won't usually experience such heightened turmoil had this person never been converted . There would only be just one wolf inside and its usually black .

There was one American Navajo Indian who became saved . He became a born again christian . And just like the inner conflict that the author described here. This newly convert had the same experienced that the writer went through . He described that he now have two nature living inside of him . One is a bad black wolf and the other one is a good white wolf . These two are in constant battle and struggle with one another trying to exerts its dominance and influence on the person . Who would exert the most influence is the one that the person feed the most. The black wolf represents the flesh and all the worldly stuff it crave for. The white wolf if the spiritual nature who needs to feed as well with things about God. If the person deprives the other of the food that it needs. The other will get stronger and minimize the other.

When a person came to saving faith and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ . That person is given a new nature which represents the white wolf on the right side of the photo . The old nature of the person is still there which represents the black wolf on the left . Our flesh which is still in the corruptible state give that person propensity to do the things that God hates . Until the flesh is changed into incorruptible. The old nature will still be there . At the moment of salvation. The person in indwelt by the Holy Spirit which bring about that new nature or white wolf. It has now a new desire to say no to things that wrong and contrary to God's righteous law and standard. But it still has to feed in order to grow and be a strong alpha male or mature Christian one day. This requires actively seeking and pursuing the things that delights His heart.

[GreenEyedPoet]

You got this partly right, it is about two sides - two wolves if you wanna see it that way. The good and the bad, dark and light etc. however it has nothing to do with me being a Christian. I had this problem long before I was a Christian. I have a problem with my darker side always being in control because of how I grew up, it's the side that always reminds me of the things I hate about myself. The lighter side doesn't remind me of those things I hate, it's a much softer side of my exterior.
So this is basically about the lighter side trying to always come and it's harder for it to be in control. It's about me not allowing the darker side to tell me all the bad things about myself, that I need to let the light be in control more so I can stop hating myself.

[Alexa Tasch]

i love the effect of the italics and especially the red "burn" a very well written poem

[GreenEyedPoet]

Thank you!
Glad you liked it. :]

[Jamestown]

This is really nicely written, and the suggestion to do a second part
I think would be killer, thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[GreenEyedPoet]

Thank you! Glad you liked it. :]