Who Is This Man

facing myself

looking at him

was immediately unsettling

his eyes were pleading

for me to turn away,

but i couldn't

i've seen him---

his face

many times before

but never like this...

looking this long

somehow--- was killing him

the strength i've seen in him

countless times before

was fading

his warrior stance... buckling

flesh began to replace armor

oblivious perfection gave birth to flaws

those eyes, continued to beg me

to find another direction---

i could not

as i looked into him,

or he into me...

his struggle was revealing itself

slowly explaining

why this perspective is so scary---

guiding me down a long twisted road

we pass many broken things

light and heat become less and less present

he demands i look away---

i don't

i continue to walk the path

stumbling over the clutter as i do

just as i think i've arrived

to the point of total blackness

the light remains ghostly faint---

amid the rubble, close to the ground...

something moves

he tells me to look away,

i tell him... i can't

pushing my way through the chaos

reaching out, i find---

a boy... all alone

and for some reason frantically building

he was covered in scars

looking at them---

those scars... made me weep for him

flashes of forgotten pain

crash down on me...

shock slams my eyes shut

but keep them closed--- i can't do

i open them to find the boy

still building

so i ask the obvious...

what are you building?

the boy replies, you

i say, you can't be

he says to me...

open your eyes

(thick denials shatter)

and his scars... become my scars

the clutter he is so desperately building with

is what i am---

a mess... pieced together

by a damaged little boy

with an aversion to light and heat

but a knack for surviving---

i look to my guide

and he looks to me,

i sift through the clutter

and begin replacing his armor

because now i can see...

that it was i

who built him

 

 

Author's Note

A very emotional write for me... sorry if it is choatic. This is my second time reading this(as i posted it), and my first time editing it. I hope it translates well to all who read it. Thank you... your thoughts are welcomed.

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

This is sort of a personification of Frued's "id/ego/super-ego" concept, where we are able to "face ourselves" and learn something of what we are and how we become that way. I like the scientific/philosophical nature of the concept of this piece. Now for the emotions...dramatic and honest. You are ever the emotionally honest writer, which I greatly admire. It is so difficult to see those parts of ourselves out on display, and the bit about the boy transforming into the man and his scars becoming yours was heartbreaking.

I know you mentioned this was chaotic, and with the emotion here, I can definitely see why. My only suggestions would be on form; I would like to see some stanza breaks and perhaps some different punctuation, but other than that this is a fantastic write. You dove into that emotional well with this one!

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you very much, Sarah. I am so appreciative that you enjoyed this piece so much. My respect for you as a writer is boundless. I thought about putting it to stanza form, but didn't due to my lack of experience writing outside of my style. I usually have to begin with a format to edit a piece in said format. Maybe if you ever have the time, you could email you editing suggestions to me. I truly would like to know your thoughts.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Well, this is lovely in concept, my friend! I will send you some thoughts when I get the chance. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sometimes we just don't want to see what we have become...at least the bad side, or the weak side or the aging side...

i don't think this is chaotic...i think it is penetrating...we feel the mess pieced together, that the speaker feels he has become.

wonderfully penned...

jacob

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Jacob... i'm glad to know that it isn't as chaotic as i thought it was. You are right, we usually don't want to see what we've become. It's so much easier to embrace denial and move on with the day.

[SyberRose]

An emotional write that only the sands of time may heal;and as always nicely penned from the heart Travis.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Rose. I truly appreciate your tender words.

[Rita L. Sev]

The emotion pours out from this piece. Such deep insight and honest reflection. This is a truly impressive piece...

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you so much, Rita. Those words mean a lot coming from such a great writer as yourself.

[ShelleyA]

Wow! This is a powerful write. Dark, heartfelt and introspective. The pain of the child, builds the adult... no escape from his memories as they seep into the present. Deep expression of emotion. You express the fear that you try not to see, but it is there, just under the surface; broken, as you try to put the pieces back together, refit the armor because you realize you built who you see. Profound and poignant.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you so much for such a grand review of this piece. Shelley, your interpretation is spot on and it makes the effort of this piece well spent. A thousand thank you's!

[ShelleyA]

You're welcome Travis. Have a good night.

[Rogue]

I thought about many things O could put here after reading this. And it really just comes down to two words that I don't have to explain to you.

I know.

This was a very in-depth look at the inside and a powerful piece.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Rogue. I always look forward to your thoughts the most. I'm glad you understood the piece (which i knew you would), and those two words say all that needs to be said.

[Rogue]

Welcome as always. :)

[NebraskaHope]

I loved it . It was a great piece !

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thanks, your visit and thoughts are most appreciated.

[quinfinn]

you know you have met a kindred soul when you recognize, almost immediately what they are weaving when they tell a tale of this nature....i knew you were going there! this is very well thought out and immensely impressive! a real life revelation and stunner of introspective prose! definitely going in my library...

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, good friend. I'm glad to know it is so well relatable. I almost tore it to shreds the night I wrote it. I'm amazed by how impressed you are with it... thank you for giving life to its purpose.

[quinfinn]

indeed, i saw myself within this provocative and engaging piece. it was eerie to see you emoting my very experiences and thoughts....really cool!

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, you've humbled me yet again!

[quinfinn]

anytime, my dear poet