To the Moon

One I've been holding on to.

Diminishing Sun rays, softly kiss adieu
as the Sun spirits away to regions unseen;
a lonely cricket begins his song too early
for the moon to hear, its introduction
lost amongst rollicking winds.

The biting chill they bring
signals change is indeed in the air,
and the hopeful cricket sings on,
to the moon. Stars arrive, giving
the most remarkable audience
an artist could ask for.

Boisterous winds find content in gentle stillness,
quieting the rustling grass and gossiping trees;
a charcoal sky with shreds of crimson
provide a backdrop of brilliance. A grand stage
for such a tiny artist.

His song, his beacon of hope, though to the moon,
has found where I hid love away in my heart.
Buried ambitions rocket unfolded desires to the moon;
may they be charming enough to be kept.

For they have done me no good, in this lonesome heart.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading.

Reviews

[Daydreamer]

Goddess of the Night, The Moon, great inspiration.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you so much for your lovely comment, your visit is greatly appreciated.

[Joyce S. Greene]

Beautiful poetry, indeed, PH. Your talent is inspiring.

His song, his beacon of hope, though to the moon,
has found where I hid love away in my heart.
Buried ambitions rocket unfolded desires to the moon;
may they be charming enough to be kept.

Your "unfolded desires" are certainly charming enough to be keepers, PH. You are very fine poet.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Joyce, I am at a lost for words to thank you with. I deeply appreciate your thoughts.

[Jeannear]

very nice poem thanks for sharing

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

And thank you for your visit and review.

[MsJewel]

You have created some lovely images in this well written poem. Beauty with a touch of melancholy...gorgeous writing my friend. I enjoyed this one very much!

:) Julie

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Julie I'm glad you enjoyed it. Your thoughts are always humbling.

[Pryde Foltz]

For they have done me no good, in this lonesome heart.

Such an elegant and eloquent piece with a simple ending that drives the meaning home with a bang.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Pryde.

[Lyn Anderson]

Great imagery, and solid writing. A good flow and timing.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, thoughts such as yours have made this piece a keeper... I had a lot of doubts about it.

[redflutterby]

Wonderful images here...I felt as if I was there! A touch of sadness and heartache in this piece...

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thanks, Red it's an accomplishment to read that. Would you believe, I began writing this in a crowded McDonald's. Lol

[redflutterby]

Really...well it shows the power of your mind then. It can transport you somewhere else and allow you to take the reader along with you!!

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

You truly humble me, Red.

[redflutterby]

My pleasure....;-)

[icelandicblue]

It's beautiful ph. I too wonder about the description of the wind. I couldn't help but feel a marauding wind would fit better than gallivanting but other than that the poem is simply captivating. You are a powerful voice yet you can create the softest of imagery.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you so much. I've been holding on to this piece for a long while. I don't write on nature much, this was my shot at it. I plan on editing "gallivanting," tonight. Lol thanks again for your always encouraging words.

[icelandicblue]

It's your poem, it's wonderful...do what you will with gallivanting, either way it's wonderful.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Yes it is, but I have come to respect this community of writers, and when a pen such as yours makes a suggestion, I listen. It doesn't change the identity of the piece, and was a portion of the piece I was completely happy with myself.

[icelandicblue]

I like rollicking winds a lot, excellent choice- it has so much more energy.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, your input was truly appreciated.

[Jack...]

Travis, this was stunning and oh so enchanting. As I read I was transported outside at night watching the moon begin it's evening journey and hearing the crickets waiting for the applause. Very nicely and romantically penned my friend.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Jack I'm completely humbled by your thoughts.

[Kianna]

Dear poetic heroics,

Hello, how are you doing today? I hope all is well with you and hope your health has improved since last time I've seen your pieces in my newsfeed. I finally have some free time from the university and thought I should take a peak on the newsfeed.

I liked the first three lines indeed. There was a nice flow, but when I got to the word "gallivanting." I'm not so sure that word really fits with the poem. It means to roam about in search of pleasure or entertainment also known as wandering in search of something. I felt that word makes the line incomplete unless you meant for the wind to mean perhaps yourself. However, I thought the cricket resembled you because you refer to it as an artist. You are a poet and therefore an author. In addition, the word gallivanting is a verb and here, it's almost used as an adjective.

Then I came across the word boisterous and thought hmmm, maybe the word gallivanting could be replaced with a synonym of boisterous so that there's a better flow. The mood of the winds seem to shift. First the winds were wandering, now they are noisy like rowdy children settling down for bedtime or something.

Other than that, though, I liked everything else. Like I said the first few lines flowed rather well and besides those two words, everything else flowed just as well. As you described the cricket as an artist I saw a lot of artistic expressions such as the sun retiring for the night and the scenery becoming "a backdrop of brilliance. A grand stage/ for a tiny artist."

I say good job.

Sincerely JazzSoulKeke,

God bless

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Hello Jazz, as always I greatly appreciate the time and thought you put into your review.

read moreHello Jazz, as always I greatly appreciate the time and thought you put into your review.

You are absolutely right about "gallivanting," I hadn't noticed. Luckily, it's an easy fix. I'm glad you were able to enjoy it beyond that. I don't write of nature very often, and was very apprehensive about posting this piece. Thank you again for your insights and honesty.