Suspicious fellow

Suspicious fellow

A Poem by Holly Mason

Look over your shoulder
for he is around
tip toeing behind you
yet not making a sound
sweet breath you feel
as he touches your hair
you think your alone
touching you is a dare
your walls are tall
mighty and strong
how dare he touch
as you walk along
all by yourself
all alone in this world
tell tale signs
of a lost little girl
shoulders back
you smell him again
he will not leave you
just be his friend
you give in a little
hold his hand in yours
to be so convincing
will open many doors
suspicious fellow
following you
touched your heart
yes GOD is true

© 2013 Holly Mason


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I didn't realize that I was in a rhyming poem until the fourth stanza. I think that's a good thing. I used to write in rhymes a lot but I slipped away from that. It isn't easy. A lot of people obscure their meaning for the sake of the rhymes, still others give up rhythm in order to rhyme. You have not committed either of these offenses with the possible exception of the second to last stanza which, while not bad seems a smidge short of the bar you have set in the rest of the poem. I wonder how the poem would read without that stanza.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Holly Mason

7 Years Ago

I write what feels good I am also not sure about the stanza but I am a leave my mistake so others ca.. read more
i agree, quite the surprise ending...

i was traveling a different path before i was touched on the shoulder with a different direction.

spooky good poem...makes the hair on the neck rise a bit.

the one line should be "you think you're alone"---

Posted 7 Years Ago


Holly Mason

7 Years Ago

I really enjoy your corrections I have been dead of mind so long I have forgotten proper English..pl.. read more
Enjoyed this poem and the surprise ending.

Posted 7 Years Ago



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Added on January 26, 2013
Last Updated on January 26, 2013

Author

Holly Mason
Holly Mason

Rockledge, FL



About
I have recently learned that maybe I can write.I have recently learned that this is my last year.I have recently learned that I will write to the end.I am a whimsical writer a writer of whim.What ever.. more..

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A Poem by Holly Mason