Shattered Dreams

Shattered Dreams

A Poem by Hidden Happiness
"

dreams are broken but the heart never stops dreaming.

"
i am an angel of happiness
tied down by some ugly chains 
i came to give life
now i'm walking on remains.

no i wouldn't have failed
if it wasn't for you
you kept me veiled
i would've shined so bright
so bright that the sun would hide
but just because you are a major fail
you drag me along your tail
you've kept my talent deep inside
the tears of anger i try to hide.

one day,soon, i will break free
from this dirty web that you've tied me in
my words will cut through the dumb silence
i will stand strong and tall like them holy trees
that you believe in, you hypocrite
everyday, you kill a little part of me
then you pray and say that God will see
like i'm the sinner
well to you, i am
but i don't expect you to understand
i'll walk on my own
i'll find my stand.

© 2012 Hidden Happiness


Author's Note

Hidden Happiness
i was going through some tough times when i wrote this....what do you think?

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Featured Review

First off, so glad you are able to turn to the pen and express feelings, especially during tough times.

Second, please don't hate me for the following. I took your poem and tried to condense/edit it. This is what I came up with (I liked the lower-case 'i' so kept it, shows somewhat deflated sense of self:

i am an angel of happiness (diff word than happiness, too vague)
tied down by ugly, bloodied chains
i came to give life;
now i'm walking on remains.


i wouldn't have failed
if it wasn't for you
you kept me veiled
i could've shined so bright
so bright that the sun would burn

one day, soon, i will break free
from this dirty web that you've tied me in
my words will cut through the thickened silence
i will stand strong and tall like holy trees

i'll unfurl my wings
i'll find my stand.


Idk, just a quick re-edit thing lol if ya don't like it, you're the author and no one can blame ya for not liking my suggestions. Only you know what it needs to say.



Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hidden Happiness

8 Years Ago

omg thank youso much for doing that....it was really helpful and i really do appreciate the effort a.. read more



Reviews

Nice poem ... Thank you for sharing...

Posted 8 Years Ago


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I love this part :

i would've shined so bright
so bright that the sun would hide
but just because you are a major fail
you drag me along your tail
you've kept my talent deep inside
the tears of anger i try to hide.
You've got talent! 100/100

Posted 8 Years Ago


Hidden Happiness

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much for believing in me...i really appreciate it:-).
.

8 Years Ago

you're welcome
First off, so glad you are able to turn to the pen and express feelings, especially during tough times.

Second, please don't hate me for the following. I took your poem and tried to condense/edit it. This is what I came up with (I liked the lower-case 'i' so kept it, shows somewhat deflated sense of self:

i am an angel of happiness (diff word than happiness, too vague)
tied down by ugly, bloodied chains
i came to give life;
now i'm walking on remains.


i wouldn't have failed
if it wasn't for you
you kept me veiled
i could've shined so bright
so bright that the sun would burn

one day, soon, i will break free
from this dirty web that you've tied me in
my words will cut through the thickened silence
i will stand strong and tall like holy trees

i'll unfurl my wings
i'll find my stand.


Idk, just a quick re-edit thing lol if ya don't like it, you're the author and no one can blame ya for not liking my suggestions. Only you know what it needs to say.



Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hidden Happiness

8 Years Ago

omg thank youso much for doing that....it was really helpful and i really do appreciate the effort a.. read more
I enjoyed this, like the use of I in the lower case, reminded me of e.e.cummings, the the lines full of self determination and courage.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Hidden Happiness

8 Years Ago

thank you so much:-).
This is incredible!
The rhythm and images express so much spirit, wisdom and strength.
2nd stanza 'but just because you are a major failure,
you drag me along at your tail' ?
Keep up the fight, you are not alone,
Your writing reminds me how I feel:)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Hidden Happiness

8 Years Ago

thanks so much...you give me a lot of inspiration:):).

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Added on July 29, 2012
Last Updated on July 29, 2012
Tags: anger, dream, chains, tied, poetry

Author

Hidden Happiness
Hidden Happiness

wonderland, words city



About
Ummm what to say, well writing along with music has been my best friends who helped me out in every difficulty, picked me up when I was down and wiped away my tears to put a smile on my face. I love r.. more..

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