4. Becoming Separate

The years passes quickly and nearly without measurement except for the slowly growing lines on some faces and the blossoming youth of the young. Kalila had fallen back into her old way with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. She accepted the title of mother as any other would when they stayed in the Valley and allowed the rhythm of the work she had been given to wash over her. The only thing to remind her of what had happened were the nightmares that plagued her every night that she would seek to erase in meditation and prayers in the morning, and Lova. 

Lova grew just as fierce as her hair was red. She attended classes with the other youth and grew among the people as any other orphan. The Valley was well known for their care and hospitality so accepted her without question. Only Kalila, the Father, and those who were there the night they arrived even knew of her humanity. Lova had forgotten the events of that night and the years before easily and barely registered her differences until she turned 6 and saw the mark on her mother one evening. After a long and calm discussion over the face that those differences couldn't change the love she had, the mark was forgotten and life went on as it should.

--

Lova woke with a sigh out of her dream. It was her favorite kind, filled with the fields of wild flowers she loved so much and the thoughts of running through them that she loved so much more. Her eyes fluttered open and she grinned at the thatched ceiling in anticipation for her day. After 9 years of growing, training, and learning under the tutelage of several mothers and fathers, it was Assignment day! With the energy and vibrancy of youth, she bounded out of bed and slipped into her tunic before sneaking outside as she did most of the time these days.

Lova's mother had yet to ask her to stop sneaking, but she loved the thrill it brought to run outside before the sun had begun to rise. As soon as she had exited the small hut she sprinted past the many small huts and past a few of the larger buildings to view the field that was still shrouded in darkness and beads of dew. There was always a hush to the land that seemed to wait patiently for the sun to greet it and was slowly filled with the chatter of birds in the distant trees. She carefully wove a pattern in the wet all the way to the rock that she so loved to sit on to watch the sun creep up between the tall mountains in the distance. 

She sat, trying to practice the meditation that her classmates seemed to master without even thinking. She tried to empty her mind but found small things creep in almost without her knowledge before forcing them back again. It frustrated Lova endlessly that she failed at meditation so often but couldn't understand why. No doubt it was all in excitement for today. The people of the Valley were taught to be calm and content with their lives. While it was true that some very few did not find it desireable, most found it easy and thrilling to be placed in a well suited assignment and live their lives in service. Today was the day that the youth began to discover their service. 

Before Lova knew it, the sun began to twirl ribbons through the trees as it peeked between the two mountains. For a brief moment she could even make out the long abandoned path that curled its' way through them many years ago. As it did every morning for as long as she could remember, a soft and sweet thrum of bamboo called the people of the Valley to the Gathering hall for morning meditation. After which the Assignment would begin. She stood and tried to wrangle her thick hair into a braid that always ended up messy and partly hanging in her face before she quickly walked back to the village. 

Dozens of people of all shapes, sizes, and marks made their way to the same building with puffy eyes, barely waking and Lova found her mother who gave her a knowing look. Lova's eyes widened in a questioning what? before following her to their usual location. Although she struggled greatly with clearing her mind, she loved the people and the feeling of unity as everyone bowed their heads to worship and thank the Great Father for the gift of today. There was a unique and exciting buzz in the air as those of a certain age peeked around at each other and grinned. Lova caught the eye of several of her friends with a smile of nervous excitement before tightly closing her eyes again.

Eventually the Father stood slowly to view his large family. He so loved everyone there and had anticipated this day right along with the rest of them. Assignment day was largely important to their way of life. It was a thrill to see how the young people came into themselves and eventually found their way through his and the elders' gentle direction. This Assignment day was particularly important. This group of young were 7 in total and each as unique as the trees that grew along the edge of the Valley. They had discussed them at length about what their strengths and weaknesses were and how to utilize them. But most importantly, they decided what to do about Lova. She had grown up well through childhood and was hurtling toward her youthful years with force. The Father saw her, all limbs, try to fold herself up just as her mother and yet struggling with sitting still. It was shocking how quickly time passed since the day that they had arrived and decisions had been made. But unsurprisingly they were accepted into the fold just as the Father asked. His bones ached as he stood and viewed those he loved before speaking in his quiet yet powerful voice. 

"Today is a good day." He spoke with a smile. Nearly everyone smiled in return while kneeling patiently.

"Today our young join the forces of the youth in assignment, not only to discover their purpose but to help the Valley as a whole maintain its' purpose," He began. The Father continued about their way of life and the Great Father who perpetuates it, then about how it was the Great Father that ultimately leads us to where we are supposed to go. During his preaching he looked out among his people, but struggled not to look at Lova directly. He longed to deliver his message but knew that most of it was directed to her. He took a beat of pause and challenged his people to trust the paths they were on before signalling the end of his speaking and the beginning of meditation. As everyone bowed low he looked out and caught the eye of Kalila who had been waiting for his signal. 

Lova, who was attempting to ignore her aching legs, looked up in surprise and confusion when her mother gently grabbed her arm to lift her out of meditation. A sinking feeling developed in the pit of her stomach when she saw that none of the other young to be assigned today were being asked to stand and she saw the look on her mother's face. Kalila's heart gave a twinge when she saw the confusion in Lova's expression as she led her out of and away from the Gathering hall. She took Lova's hand and wrapped it with her own before leading her quietly to the field that her charge loved.

"Mother?" She asked. Kalila let the words hang in the air a while before take her place on the ground and patting the area beside her. Lova sat with a thump and looked at Kalila, her mind on the Assignment that would be taking place any minute.

"We're going to miss it- I'M going to miss it." She pointed out unnecessarily. Her mother nodded slowly.

"Yes, Lova, you are." Lova's mouth popped open and pain flit across her face. 

"I don't understand." She replied tightly.

"Do you remember a few years ago, when we were at home, and you asked me about my mark?" Kalila lifted the the top of her long, braided hair to reveal part of the beautiful mark that Lova had longed for on many occasions. As the implications of her missing assignment set in and tears threatened to fall, Lova could only nod.

"And I told you that these differences hardly mattered, right?" She didn't pause for response. ", They may hardly matter, Lova, but they still matter." There is something you should know, Kalila thought but struggled to put into words.

"Lova, we love you and we want you to grow up happy just like everyone else, but you AREN'T quite like everyone else." Lova's tears had begun to trail down her face and she was looking angrily at the ground until her mother said this. Her red eyes found her mother's with a start.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you remember when you were brought here?" Kalila hoped fiercely that she didn't and sighed with relief when she responded with a no.

"You and I came here when you were very young. In fact, we weren't supposed to come here at all." She admitted. 

"Where were we supposed to be?" Lova asked, shocked at this window of opportunity. Although she didn't say it often, she had asked where they came from and what they were doing. Lova had longed to know who her parents were and the circumstances that brought them here. It was no secret that orphans came to the Valley and 4 of her young friends were just like her in that way but her mother had always strictly avoided that conversation. Kalila wouldn't have even told her know had the Father not urged her to be gently honest and explain why she couldn't be placed today.

"The kingdom of Usal, I'm sure you've heard it referenced." Lova's brows knit together as she recalled small snippets of description that occasionally made its' way to the Valley through letters. Stories about thousands of people so close together they were like an ocean. About small shops and large homes that stacked on top of each other to accommodate them all.

"Well yeah."

"We were there. My assignment and training was done here, but when it was completed- I was sent there-"

"To do what?" Lova interrupted. 

"To do what I do here, to care for the babies and small ones. That's where I met you."

"Why was I there? What was it like? Why did we leave?" Lova asked, greedy for information like a starving man for food. Kalila took a deep breath, the memory still with her although vague and much less painful. She didn't intend on sharing everything.

"I was there to care for the human children."

"Human?"

"The non-marked, Lova. Human." She said, waiting for that to sink in. Lova was still confused about what purpose the humans had it Usal but suddenly understood what her mother was saying. She suddenly understood what she was.

"Human." She said, feeling the strange word pass over her mouth but almost feeling dirty by saying it. It was so rarely spoken that she hardly knew what it meant but certainly knew that she carried no mark no matter how hard she wished.

"So humans can't be part of the Valley?" She asked, the pain in her heart returning.

"What? No. That's not why you will not be assigned like they will."

"Then why?"

"Lova you came here in need of protection, and that it exactly what we are doing."

"Does everyone but me know?" She asked, confused about what that meant.

"Certainly not." Kalila responded. ", and you are not to share what you're being told. You may not be in eminent danger anymore, your presence is still a secret you must keep. The Father wanted you to understand. You will be put into a training position but after much prayer and meditation he knew the Great Father wanted to limit your permanence here."

"My permanence here? So I'm going to be sent away?"

"No, child, quit jumping to conclusions and hear me." Kalila said sternly, tired of her thinking the worst. ", The Father loves you like I do, and wants you to stay like I do. But he recognizes that as one of the last humans you need to have the freedom to do as the Great Father commands."

"I need to be able to leave." Lova said, speaking words that were as foreign to her thoughts as anything could be.

"We hope you won't, but yes." The mother took Lova's hand and squeezed as much of her love into it to try to get her words across. ",I hope you won't ever have to leave, my dear." She placed a kiss on her hand and waited for Lova to respond.

The mother gently pulled Lova's braid out to fix the lumps and stray pieces while the silenced loomed between them. 

"I am one of the last? She asked, her heart filling with dread. If she wasn't going to be allowed to be a true part of the Valley, then was was she?

"Yes."

"Where did we go?"

"As far as I know, there are no more humans in Usal and only a few across the land, although I have never met one."

"Did there used to be more?"

"I believe so, but that was many years before even the Father's father was born."

Lova's heart ached with a strange feeling that she didn't have a name for and thought once again about the assignment that she was missing. 

"Can we at least watch it?"

"What, Lova?"

"The assignment?" She asked. Kalila knew that this would cause much more harm than good, but agreed to view from a slight distance now that the hardest part of the day was done.

-- 

No one seemed to notice that someone was missing right away. The group of young, once 7 but now 6, were asked to join the Father and the small group of elders at the front of the Gathering hall. A soft breeze blew through bringing with it the sweet smell of the grass and the excitement was a palpable thing. Only Edan noticed at first who was missing. He stood smiling alongside his peers and viewed the happy crown that looked on, and almost without realizing it was looking for the girl with the fiery hair. It was hardly the age where affections were formed but without trying she found a way to make him smile no matter what was happening. At first, Edan looked with confusion at their instructor as if to point out that there was someone missing. It wouldn't have been the first time that she had run off and gotten distracted but it seemed impossible to forget this. 

After a bit of inward debate he decided to keep his thoughts to himself as the Father momentarily rested his hand on Edan's shoulder before speaking on the potential of the young and what they could do. One by one Edan's peers were called and placed. Austim, a boy with dark skin and an angry looking mark that ran in sharp angles on his forearm, was called first and placed into the field workers. The workers let out a cheer and Austim made his way to them among happy clapping with a grin on his face. Next, Elrin, a boy with dark hair and the same mark of the Valley on his neck was placed into the watchmen group and more cheers were released. Everyone continued on and was smiling, seeming not to notice anyone missing and not being concerned about it. Edan knew that sometimes there were exceptions but Lova hardly seemed to fit them. Cheering erupted again as Kelya, a girl with a very long braid and a green mark that made a design on her chin and one cheek, was placed with the small group of instructors. Finally, it was Edan's turn. 

His thoughts returned to his assignment quickly and nervously. He had no idea what kind of placement he would recieve, and had been afraid of not being placed at all since his aptitudes seemed so limited. Edan's mark curled beautifully across his neck, behind one ear and over his left eye causing a strange bald spot and one of his brown eyes to have a milky quality. He was not very strong compared to the other boys his age, although they didn't point that out very often. Edan's strengths remained primarily in his mind. The Father, who hadn't been saying much, came forward at this point and Edan's face drained of color. He knew it- he wasn't being placed. The Father placed a calming hand on his shoulder and smiled at him.

"Most of you can see that I am wearing thin in my old age." He raised his arms and shook his tunic with a smile as most everyone laughed. Although the young looked on in the same fear that Edan had, the older had no fear, perfect trust, and seemed to understand something.

"Every generation or so I am allowed to make a choice. I seek the Great Father every year for the answer to that choice and this year I was given a new answer. Every year I am given the option of declaring a replacement and training him for his task and this year I have." The Father said. Edan looked through the corners of his eyes for this replacement and was shocked as the Father placed his hands on his shoulders to announce it. Edan's mind ran wildly for a moment as he considered what that meant for his future. He would be the keeper of secrets and the organizer. He would be the one to make decisions and eventually he would be the one placing people into their families along with the elders. 

People cheered and were genuinely excited for him. The group of young that were now youth looked on with surprise and wonder that they had been instructed alongside the next Father. After the noise had died down and Edan took his new seat at the front of the hall they continued on to the next few young. Edan watched them get placed into familiarity but was suddenly struck by a strange sight. Although he couldn't be entirely sure from this distance, his eyes seemed to pick up the red hair like a magnet. He wondered why Lova wasn't up there with the rest of them and not even in the hall itself. The boy watched the girl who was barely visible and realized that now it wouldn't be long before he knew the answer.