Brave New World

First new poem written since joining WritersCafe - an attempt to improve on my style while musing on what that means and relapsing just a little into my repetitive style!

Thin watery moon, foggy day

Early walk, chance to pray.

Crisp under foot, cold old day

Striding out, no delay.

Looming hill, muddy walk

Up I go, no breath to talk.

Hilltop view, vigorous walk

The ground beneath me made of chalk.

And I think, I reflect

Lines of poetry flood my intellect.

Are they mine, I begin to muse

Are these my words that I must choose?

I've been inspired,encouraged, challenged

I've seen good and bad in my repetitive patterns.

I've seen the value of imagery and metaphor

and I'm stretching my mind to improve, Or

at least to be open to change.

Temptation here, it is so strong,

To repeat the first verse like in a song,

But if I am going to change, that would be wrong

I need to work out where I belong

in this brave new world of poetry.

I have a tendency to try to rhyme

Is that poetry, or from childish times?

Towards simplicity, I am inclined

Perhaps I'm not clever or refined

enough to live in this brave new world of poetry.

My walk nearly over and I conclude

My style is mine, but it would be rude

To ignore the advice, the food

for thought as I have been moved

by the poetic styles of true poets in the WritersCafe.

Stepping over my threshold

I decide to be bold -

I will try to adapt, but if the truth be told

I cant help but be me, and how I unfold

is a mystery even to me.

Back to the warmth of my home. 

There's no need to atone,

For I resisted the urge to repeat that first verse.

Instead, I sit with my pen and rehearse

and play with the words until something like a poem forms in front of me.

I have submerged myself, as far as I can

In this brave new world, so spick and span.

It's a new year, still early in Jan

A new start indeed, but first I plan

to indulge just once more in my repetitive style and explain in this brave new world who I really am

Anyone can write a rhyme
So simple, simple, simple
And so these poems, which are mine
Are simple, simple, simple
I'd like to be skilled at poetry
Not simple, simple, simple
But still, the words, they reflect me
And I am not so simple.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Metaphor, clever, rhyme, you are right. There is no need to atone for what comes naturally to the poet.
There is such a vast array of readers out there...many who appreciate the "simple, simple, simple" as you put it....but the words reflect the poet and also reflect the readers.
Sure some like the more complicated styles and might say that anything else is not poetry...but not true.
What we write is us...and that is the individuality and universality of the genre.
so go for it, Helen. Write you...
j.

[Helen]

I did think I had responded to this, but can't see it now - so apologies if it shows twice.

This was such a lovely response and I wanted to thank you for being so very supportive and encouraging.

I think I said more the first time, but it is hard to remember when trying to recreate something.

It was nice to write a new poem on today's thoughts and events as the rest of my writing is from a year or so ago. I am off work this week so have been able to indulge myself in this site and feel the poetic juices flowing, but I am not sure I would have done it without all the encouragement from the community.

I hope to stay around and write me, but maybe learn from others so I'm a better me!

[Garrett Leatherman]

The musicality of this piece really hits home. It does seem like rhyming poetry is seen as "old-fashioned" or "outdated", but I embrace it because at the end of the day poetry was made to make language musical! Of course, the form has evolved and sort of freed itself from the "rules" of old, and I certainly don't mean to hate on all non-rhyming poetry or say that it's not "real" poetry. Free Verse requires much skill and I respect anyone who can do it well!

Nonetheless, I think rhyme is part of the essence of poetry and not merely a rule, and it certainly should not be devalued as the form evolves. Interested to see what you think...

[Helen]

Thank you Garrett. I was just reading your latest poem about the madness of societies, and note that you are a rhymer too! And I agree that rhyme should not be devalued. I just think that my rhymes are perhaps a little too childlike.

My education on poetry was when I was a child, at primary school, and it is the poetry, or the music, of the words that seems to emerge when I try to write and I don't know whether it is because I am uneducated in more sophisticated forms of poetry. They just seem to be the rhythms that are within me.

I loved the poetry of Spike Milligan when I was a child "Today I saw a little worm, wriggling on his belly, perhaps he'd like to come inside, and see what's on the telly" comes to mind, from a book I had which I think was called Silly Verse for Kids. Is it any less clever because it is simple? Even today it brings a smile to my face so the poet has done his job!

But I don't really feel qualified to comment due to my lack of education. What I do know is that I have been blown away by some of the skill here - in free verse or otherwise.

I would like to make better use of metaphors and would like to be able to write at least one poem where I find a (my) rhythm without the rhyme.

Thank you for your thought-provoking comment.

[Helen]

* Your poem - "there was once a war" (I couldn't remember what is was called when I was writing the comment)

[Garrett Leatherman]

Well, I think immediately of music (pop, hip-hop, rock) and the rhymes employed in those lyrics. Plenty of them could be called "simple" or "childlike", but we don't deem them that way because it enhances the rhythm of the song as a whole. Perhaps this same phenomenon could be applied to poetry!

[Helen]

I like those thoughts 🙂