Blame It On The Rain

Do you understand?

It gets so much harder every day.

Of course it could be worse.

Every single last thing could be falling from the sky 

But, it isn't.

It's what it is.

It's the moment that I am experiencing so it's what matters.

 

                                             Pain reaps through me

                                                               I don't shed a tear 

                                       A need pings in my stomach

                                                              I don't blink an eye

                                       Starring as the light reflects 

                                                            I don't make a sound

                                   A silent scream piercings my ears

                                                           I don't let the moment pass

                               Like a steal vice darkness envelops 

 

I hear your voice

   It's my sweet surrender

I see your face 

    Those eyes become my escape 

I can feel the sharp sting of your smack from the very first time you saw the tiny red streaks 

    It was my cry for help

 

My surrender became my addiction 

 

I don't make a move to touch that harden steal

I can't let my self dissolve 

I see death. But, it’s the last thing I want.

I listen to the voices that don't exist 

I imagine the flowing 

    Like the rain in July it would slowly drip until a steady stream has formed 

 

    I feel so much and nothing all at once

    I am so lost 

    I am so full of anger and hate

    I feel a desire like no other

 

But, I must not fall.

I must not enjoy.

I must not take my temptation.

 

I must remember it is the only way.

              It is my survival.