Samhain

A poem I wrote on the eve of Samhain, our newyear, this 2013. PS. Samhain is what the normal people call "Halloween" It's a tribute to all the good spirits protecting us and helping us all around.

I stare out the window

Mist everywhere,

Are they approaching?

The leaves are turning cold

The trees are humming the names

I feel myself getting erased in this exotic feeling

The wind blows

So cold,

The stars blink, just like I blink my eyes,

I see the long forgotten sight

The sea, the mountains, the forest,

Getting smudged inside the mist all at once

And as I've known,

The veil was getting thinner every second,

I finally smile,

Knowing the veil is gone.

They have came.

It's their time.

Reviews

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Brilliant imagery and great transitions!
I feel like I went on a journey and saw all those images!

The poem is about a person that has an extra sensory skill and is able to pay attention to what most persons disregard. The character in the poem describes how voices carried by the wind announce the arrival of the once lived.

[Shreya]

Thank you so much, Anika. :) I just wrote what I felt myself. Not sure if I have got those skills, but I felt all these happening inside my head. It felt so beautiful.
Thank you so much once again for the lovely review. xx

[Ingwil]

I also generally liked the poem. Good effort -there is something heartfelt about it.But there are some English errors that distract from the experience. Such as : "They have came" I would constructively suggest that you review it throughout for such errors. It will definitely strengthen the communication of your "voice".

[RealistMe]

Nice poem. I take it that you're Wiccan. I have several Wiccan friends both in real life and cyber space. Anyway, I really like "I feel myself getting erased in this exotic feeling." The only thing you have to change (in my opinion) is toward the bottom. It should be "They have come" rather than "They have came."

[Shreya]

Hey there, thanks to both of you pointing the mistake out, and I will rectify it. I am so sorry for the mistake, because English is not my first or native language, I tend to make mistakes sometimes. I am sorry, but I will try to be more accurate from the next time. xx

[RealistMe]

Oh okay. I'm glad to have helped. :)

[Shreya]

Thank you. :)

[RealistMe]

You're welcome.

[Diana]

"The veil was getting thinner every second,

I finally smile,

Knowing the veil is gone." I like the veil imagery. Time to go at the end... Just enough to keep the reader guessing.

[Quoting Ravens]

Oh yay. I do love Samhain. Very nice and chilly way of describing it.

[Shreya]

Oh, I love it too! Shame on the people in here that they don't celebrate it.. And thank you so much. xx

[Anita Singh]

It took me to another place. I loved the description of the surroundings. Nice work.

[Shreya]

Awww, thank you so much. :) xx

[costa siwale]

This is lovely..I like its simple unfolding..very well done

[Shreya]

Thank you so much. xx

[K]

Brilliant imagination.
Very well done.

[Shreya]

Thank you. xx

[zainul]

Lovely work.
I felt the events myself from your nice write.

[Shreya]

Thanks, Zainul. xx

[zainul]

Welcome.
Tumi review-er shundor jobab dieso.
Khub khushi hoesi.
Banglai likheso kiso?

[Shreya]

Ekta likhechilam, tobe besi likhte pari na. besi words ase na mathay. :) Kono ek time e post korbo oi Bangla poem ta. ;)

[zainul]

Dhonnyobad.
Omon-e hoe.
Jotno kore ota rekhe dao are engreji-bangla ja-e isse kore ta-e likho ebong shujog moto sapate thako.
Ekhon ki lekhapora korso?

[Adam Whitworth]

I like it, well done!
i have some editorial ideas , just little things; everyone would have things their own way lol!

Samhain
-----------

Staring out of the window
everywhere mist,
...are they approaching?
trees are humming the names,
their leaves growing cold,
myself I feel becoming erased through such exotic feeling,
the wind moves so cold,
the stars blinking, my eyes blink,
seeing long forgotten sights-
the sea, the mountains, the forest,
feeling smudged inside the mist all at once,
and as I've known,
the veil now thinner every moment,
finally I smile
knowing the veil is gone.
They have come.
It is their time.

[Shreya]

Adam, thank you so much for editing this properly. This is beautiful, and I am now going to put this version up on my SpellsofMagic profile if you don't have any problem. :)
Thank you. xx

[Inda]

I think there's just a few grammar issues,
The trees are gumming the names- might sound better ifnit was, their name.
Then towards the end, they have came- should be they have come.
Still, i like the journey and if you just allow yourself to be a bit more raw, it will be even better. Keep it up!

[Shreya]

Inda, I would be very very honest on this, but when I read the humming line with my words and then your words, I liked your ones a lot better
And the come/came mistake is fixed. :)
Thank you for the review, I hope to make myself better with time. xx

[Inda]

I'm sure you will, keep it up! :)

[Shreya]

:) Thank you for having faith. :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

what a truly vivid poem i can feel the wind blowing and see the trees moving and that is what good writing is supposed to do make you feel what the words are saying.Great write:)

[Shreya]

Hello Vidya, thank you. :) I really appreciate your comments. :) xx

[digital_angel19]

Your observant and poetic nature surely complement each other. I applaud your descriptive piece, as it feels like I have seen what you have seen, and heard what you have heard.

[Shreya]

Thank you so much for the review and the kind words, Angel.