Samhain

A poem I wrote on the eve of Samhain, our newyear, this 2013. PS. Samhain is what the normal people call "Halloween" It's a tribute to all the good spirits protecting us and helping us all around.

I stare out the window

Mist everywhere,

Are they approaching?

The leaves are turning cold

The trees are humming the names

I feel myself getting erased in this exotic feeling

The wind blows

So cold,

The stars blink, just like I blink my eyes,

I see the long forgotten sight

The sea, the mountains, the forest,

Getting smudged inside the mist all at once

And as I've known,

The veil was getting thinner every second,

I finally smile,

Knowing the veil is gone.

They have came.

It's their time.

Reviews

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Brilliant imagery and great transitions!
I feel like I went on a journey and saw all those images!

The poem is about a person that has an extra sensory skill and is able to pay attention to what most persons disregard. The character in the poem describes how voices carried by the wind announce the arrival of the once lived.

[Shreya]

Thank you so much, Anika. :) I just wrote what I felt myself. Not sure if I have got those skills, but I felt all these happening inside my head. It felt so beautiful.
Thank you so much once again for the lovely review. xx

[Ingwil]

I also generally liked the poem. Good effort -there is something heartfelt about it.But there are some English errors that distract from the experience. Such as : "They have came" I would constructively suggest that you review it throughout for such errors. It will definitely strengthen the communication of your "voice".

[RealistMe]

Nice poem. I take it that you're Wiccan. I have several Wiccan friends both in real life and cyber space. Anyway, I really like "I feel myself getting erased in this exotic feeling." The only thing you have to change (in my opinion) is toward the bottom. It should be "They have come" rather than "They have came."

[Shreya]

Hey there, thanks to both of you pointing the mistake out, and I will rectify it. I am so sorry for the mistake, because English is not my first or native language, I tend to make mistakes sometimes. I am sorry, but I will try to be more accurate from the next time. xx

[RealistMe]

Oh okay. I'm glad to have helped. :)

[Shreya]

Thank you. :)

[RealistMe]

You're welcome.

[Will Neill]

Shreya, thank you for asking me to review your poem, I enjoyed this short piece very much, it conjours up images of wistfull tree's and leaves. There was a spelling mistake-I think you meant 'They have Come' but you wrote 'came'. I also would try not to repeat the same word so close together (thats just my opinon) But please keep writing and enjoying what you do.
Take Care.
Will

[Shreya]

Will, thank you so much for pointing the mistakes out. All these help me to be a better writer. :)read moreWill, thank you so much for pointing the mistakes out. All these help me to be a better writer. :)
I'm just an beginner and trying to write better. :)
Thank you. xx

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

The stars blink, just like I blink my eyes,

-I think it should be rephrased as "just like HOW I blink my eyes".

They have came.

-They have come.

Overal. The poem gives us insights on how observant and poetic you are given normal circumstances. Thank for sharing your dreamy poem. :)

[Shreya]

Hi Blue, thank you for sharing your comments, and I will keep an eye for not making the same mistakes over again. And thank you for the lovely comments. greatly appreciated. :) xx

[FlatLineBeauty]

I loved this. I was a wonderful piece. Good work. Blessed be. xo Winter

[Shreya]

Thank you so much.
Blessings. :) xx