Federal Chaos (Superman Is Dead)

 

Have you read the news today

I can’t believe what I heard them say

This country’s falling

This country’s weak

Hungry children lying on the street

 

There’s no Superman to save us now

The enemy is on the prowl

Eating our hopes

Crushing our dreams

Nothing now is what it seems

 

A virus spreading across the land

The blacks and whites

Won’t hold each others’ hand

This sick disease

Our heroes fallen

Never coming back

To stop all the problems

 

And now there’s so many dead

So many thirsty

And there’s so many fighting

There’s not much left to salvage here

All of this is a mess of destruction

 

A Superman will rise today

He’ll tell them what we’ve all

Wanted to say

Quit the battle

And open this door

Our families are torn apart

Because of this war

 

Go and bring our fathers home

We need a smile amidst this sadness

Bring them now

Don’t make us wait

We’re finding friends

Through all our hate

 

This is the world we created

This is the place we’ll die in

Don’t blame it on the government

You should have made a stand.

Reviews

[Colleen. E. Stevens]

This poem was okay but i thought the wording made it a bit hazy,
I like the idea of a superman and i hope you don't think i'm being too critical,
but to make it better i would suggest looking at each stanza and maybe changing some
words to make the meaning a bit stronger.

[Wendy in Realityland]

of course it's not a piece of crap, it's exactly how i feel, so at least your not alone ^_^ , and by the way, sorry i can't get on as much anymore, too much stuff going on >.> and that makes me have a loss at reading yuor work, but I'm gonna set aside a day soon to ready them ;) i promise, love you, see you soon.

[melancholia skies]

D:
It's not a piece of crap! I is la liker of it! ( La -french for- the )
:)
I loves's it. :D
I indulg3 it in chocolat�. :D

[Deranged Kiwi]

I'm not sure if you specifically chose words for the poem but I feel you could use other words in lieu of the slightly weaker ones. Exactly like the last stanza which is packed full of extremely strong thought left for the reader to think about. It brings an amazing closure to your poem.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

I liked it. Too bad there are no real life super heros. would be exciting.

[Alysa]

Its not bad. I like the format of it. You never lose your touch.

[dread or dismay.]

Its excellent! :] I think you just held all the poetry inside you, and then made the best you can! Its probably one of my faviourites out of your poems! I really like the way you say...:

This is the world we created

This is the place we'll die in

Don't blame it on the government

You should have made a stand.

Its really passionete! I love that paragraph! Great write! :D