~You were sweet once~

Thoughts of a rejected lover in 4 stanzas.

Like a warm soft breeze that brushes the cheek

under a plum tree: You were sweet once.

I'd have stood the world on its head 

just to prolong your kisses--

Those little miracles ignorant of time

and all the vaporous years.

But like all mirages, one day you disappeared 

and faded. My kisses for you I discovered, 

were nothing more than shadows that crossed your cheek

after your infatuation with me ultimately expired.

And isn't it ironic that I had just dreamt of you the night before.

We sat quietly under the shadow of a tree, where I abandoned you,

like the pit of a devoured plum.

       

Author's Note

The jilted lover naive to the game has become bitter. He has learned the hard way that infatuation is a fickle sensation that can dissolve as fast as it was precipitated- whether in himself or in this case, the object of his affections. Love should not be assumed. Love takes time. Skies that seem blue one minute can turn overcast the next.

Reviews

[realmwriter]

Love is fickle and those of us who think we have found it in one lustful night fall prey to foolish desires. Then we realize that we are cast out with the sodomites when our infatuation is no longer reciprocated. Like the shadow you refer to, we are gone before the sun sets. The gray in our lives becomes black and we loose our way. But alas, love is hard to find for a reason, because it is worth having. It is worth the search for that one true love that we so desire to spend the rest of our lives with. Sometimes, however, we don't recognize it when it is right in front of us.

Excellent write my friend. I enjoyed this very much.

[Relic]

A great review. Thanks very much realmwiter.

[realmwriter]

You're very welcome

[Chris Shaw]

The price of infatuation can be pain, especially if you are on the receiving end of it. It can fool as well, infatuation is no five minute wonder, it can last quite some time before it can fade leaving in its wake that devoured plum feeling. We learn though by mistakes we make. Conveyed well and poignant with it Tim.

Chris

[Relic]

Thanks very much, Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Welcome as always :)

[.]

Infatuation lasts for a while as it lacks the depth that requires a strong will to stand by all the adversities. It is bound to fail. ... A cautionary write here:)

[Relic]

Thanks for your thoughts, Dreamer. :)

[Lyn Anderson]

I love everything about this poem. Its form, its flow, and the powerful allusions -- by far the best is the close (the note/paragraph I think might be better at the top, just because the last line is a great mic drop for an ending.)

[Relic]

haha, I'll take that into consideration, Lyn. Thanks for your thoughts. :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Seriously, the plum is bloody fantastic.

[Relic]

I've just realized it may not be so easy to insert the note/paragraph you mentioned. While pressing the enter button to add space, it is moving much too slow and may be problematic. Oh well.

[Lyn Anderson]

yes, editing in here can be a drag. But I am rarely so enthusiastic. It's just a perfect ending.

[Relic]

Thanks so much. :)))

[Ahnjolie McKenna]

Smiling... beautifully written. A cautionary tale for one who may be contemplating such a leap into unknown territory. I like the 'lesson to be learned' aspect of your poem...perfect.

Ahnjolie

[Relic]

Thanks Ahnjolie. I was told earlier tonight on another site that it was clunky and inconsistent. haha

[Ahnjolie McKenna]

Ouch! Pay them no mind... it is lovely. :)

[Relic]

:) Okay, I'll try.

[Matthew Kult]

breathlessly swept away

Great Read

Matthew

[Relic]

Thank you Matthew. :)

[Matthew Kult]

You are welcome

Matthew

[J L Solomon]

Really liked this, Love is fickle, we think we have it then it is gone. Elusive because people change and we change it’s only when we first find ourselves that we are able to find the love our true selves need.

[Relic]

Well said, thanks for the review. :)

[Megan]

I love the use of the plum imagery as a frame. Beautiful imagery all around

[Mitch]

There is nothing else like infatuation. It hits us hard and is more intoxicating than most drugs. When it's gone, the drop is just as hard. This is a difficult lesson to learn, but we all go through it eventually. Nice write here.

[Relic]

Nice review, thank you.

[rowan.taylorrr]

I enjoyed this very much, I love your wording that you use. I love the way that you end it in a note that is very relatable.

[Relic]

Thank you Britt. :)

[Bear]

Your choice of artwork for this poem is perfect, it seems as if the poem was written for this picture. Reminds me of the poetry circle from the 90's on virtual places char program, they had a weekly writing challenge where a picture was posted and everyone wrote a poem about the picture. This is my second favorite poem of yours but have enjoyed each and everyone that I read Bravo! I give it five of five Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Relic]

haha, I appreciate those claps Bear, thanks.

[Bear]

I love the clap system, if words fail me I can still show my appreciation in the time tested tradition of clapping :~)

[Relic]

Applause is excepted here and well appreciated. :)