Whenever I kickoff a story on this site that's been penned by an unfamiliar writer, I will often-times scroll to the bottom first where the author's note lies. I want to be sure those three dreaded words aren't lurking beneath like a scaly monster, hidden and poised to snap its hideous jaws on my chum-like eyes. You've probably been a victim of this assault yourself. Should I even say the terrifying words that send shock waves through the water of every bathtub in town? The thought of that scandalous phrase sends shivers through me like drumsticks rattling out a double ratamacue on each bone of my ribcage. "Ignore the grammar."
Ooooo, shivers!
Similar sayings pop into my head like dark echoes from a cold nightmare.
~ Ignore the persistent static on my radio. I want feedback on what you hear the voices saying.
~Ignore the river of water on my floor. Tell me how the clothes look when I take them out of the washing machine.
~Ignore the jolting potholes. Start out here, drive to the end of the road, turnaround, then come back and let me know what you thought of the ride. I'll change the dented wheel rims later.
Those three dreadful words are a giveaway; a signpost to possible disappointment. They tell me the writer is not only too anxious for approval on a job that's half-done, he probably hasn't learned the fundamentals of writing. He's taking a shot in the dark that people will enjoy it, regardless of any glaring mistakes. Although some will, I've always got a tank-full of trepidation before putting my mind in drive to start the first line.
Basic grammar is a part of the writing process you're not naturally born with. You can't skip it in school or bypass it because your desire to share is greater. The accused writers may respond: "Well, I'm just testing out my story to see if anyone will like it...to see if I'm a good enough writer." Or, said in a different way--I'm looking for a guinea pig to test this on; to see what kind of feedback I get. I know the grammar's bad, just tell me if you enjoy my story idea.
On the other side of the coin, a writer's first language may be foreign. Thus, like others whose first language is English, he may not feel confident and therefore wants you to 'bypass' the grammar errors.
I recall taking a ride in a friends dune buggy once. The shocks were horrendous, but he repaired the engine and wanted me to come along. Okay, I said, reluctantly, so off we went. He raced through the woods up and down through dips and bumps along the trail until I thought I would fly out like an injured bird, feathers flying in all directions.
"What do ya think!" he bellowed out when it was over, our hair twisted in a mess from the ride. "Well, I said--my heart still pounding like a headache--that was quite a ride alright, haha." You can imagine what I was really thinking. I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I lied. Should I buffer my answer the same way to pacify someone who doesn't speak the same language I do? Should I do it to make him feel good? Do people learn and improve that way?
It doesn't take a thousand years to get good at grammar. Moreover, the art of revising should also be considered just as important and an integral part of it. To underrate such a tool is a mistake. One I've made too many times.
I think there are many good writers with good ideas just waiting to be read. So if you happen to be one of those people who add those three dreaded words to your author's notes, there are many books and online sites that can help. You'll feel a lot better if you take the time to look. Learn the basics of your craft. If not for yourself, for your readers.
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