Stitches

Here is my heart;

my one and only heart"

I spoke to you,

handing you my heart;

my beaten broken heart

 

"Cherish it please,

treat it as your own,

but with more care"

you then held my slowly beating

heart in your hands

and said:

 

"I promise

put your trust in me!

put your faith in me!

for I am a warrior

of the only son of God!"

 

 

 

 

But you turned your back

as you said this;

walking away with my heart

so that I could not see

the nose on your face

growing at an alarming rate

 

 

 

 

You took it to

your fellow 'warriors'

once you knew

that no one was watching

you all tore off your masks

"a heart! a heart!

I have another's heart!

they are not one of us,

a traitor for us to see!

let us poke a and pry,

discover the truth that lies beneath"

 

 

 

 

You dug through my heart,

its chambers and arteries

until one of you shouted:

"it is found! it is found!

I found the truth and more truth!

I am your friend, trust in me!

let us take this truth

and we will bend it together!"

 

 

 

 

After stitching my heart;

hiding your detections,

you called for a messenger

the messenger rode his bicycle to my heartless person

"here is your package"

 

 

 

 

I opened the package,

to find my one and only heart

in ruins

I did not believe in worse than before!

but you succeeded,

you have made things worse

I now wait for you,

to come and remove the stitches

from my now healing heart;

it has been so long

for I feel without you!

my getaway at last!

 

Author's Note

I know it's bazar, but please try to see past that.

Reviews

[Blindmikey]

This is so unique! I love that it's so very story-ish, almost as a dark fairy-tale. And the message is... wow. So true to the pain of heart and what it is we risk in giving it to others. There's so many layers here, I'm going to have to read this one again... and I'm not sure that would be even enough.

Very deep, very artistic, very true.

You have a piece of gold here.

[OilsandSyntax]

I think the bizarre elements of this poem are what make it a good peice. I agree with Emily about the last group...it doesn't feel necessary. The only thing I can suggest is to do a quick edit for spelling and type-O's. I enjoyed reading your creativity. Thanks for sharing. I also like the deeper message in this.

[Shadows of Sight]

I like the bazzar quality to it! I think it makes it so much more powerful!
You seem to have a nack with writing about the human condition and body, and putting that on paper to truly let us see what you want us to.
wonderful work! :)

[Emily B]

I love the story of receiving back your bruised heart. I almost think you could do without the last group. Great write.

[lori c]

i love the bazaarness of this poem. i see several layers here, another plus. there is definite reference to religion but yet, it still could speak of any relationship in which we invest enormous trust, only to have it examined, cross-examined, and examined again, and then our heart is tossed back to us in a gazillion pieces. you go deep into the heart and i like that. nothing to apologize for here. a great poem.

[Buzzy]

Wow...amazing and I loved it..

Thanks for this beautiful poem.

Best wishes
Buzzy

[Hide From God]

This is absolutely amazing. I re-read it over and over again. How often do we give ourselves to someone and they in turn tear it apart before your eyes? And if I'm not mistaken are you taking a small jab at some form of religion, i might've picked that up i thought. But none the less, fabulous job. Very talented. Can't wait to read more!

[Red_Queen]

Oh absolutly wonderful. really one of the best i have read from you yet. hope you can top it.