Only Him

I wrote this about my boyfriend, so I would love some opinions on how it's written

His hair...

Short,

Flowing,

Weaving,

Falling contently around his shoulders.

 

Blonde.

Pale with darker streaks as a result of the wintertime toll on humankind.

 

His eyes...

Reflecting the glistening moon that shines brightly in the nighttime sky,

With a hopeful gaze upwards.

 

His face...

Pale,

Sprinkled in freckles, like the stars dotting the sky under the moonlight.

 

His clothing...

Effortless,

Free.

 

His radiant glow...

His caring,

Loving,

Quirky,

Funny personality.

 

His gorgeous accent spilling out of his mouth with his strong opinions and witty charm.

 

Everything reminds of how I have fallen in love,

And keep falling in love,

Over,

And over,

And over again which each passing day

Reviews

[Ms Paragon]

Beautiful words.Well done!

[barleygirl]

Any beloved companion would be thrilled to have such a delightful & detailed poem written to show off what this person means to the writer. At the beginning ("hair"), your descriptions feel a little too literal & conversational for my liking. Starting with "eyes" and "face", then your writing lets go of the straightforward guardrails & it begins to dance around in more creative ways to show thru metaphor & comparison, which also paints one's surroundings as part of the whole enjoyment scene. Good job of breaking up longer lines with some short expressions & light repetition (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Anastasia]

Thank you, and I agree, I just wasn't sure how to start it in a different way.

[barleygirl]

We always sputter along for a little bit before our writing passion takes hold & the poem flows! *wink! wink!*

[NEHA]

aww!
quite impressive!
she must be lucky...

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

Wonderful to be inlove is the most precious thing ever- love and list are very different and to love and to be in love are far between- wonderful words- inlove is the place to be free🌹

[Anastasia]

Thank you, and I agree.

[‘Thoughts In Time’🌹]

My pleasure- to fall over and over deeper and deeper daily is the right love that shows🌹

[¿]

Why not if the girl is that kind of charming!!
Keep her close and take care or may someone cast evil eye!!
Cute read Anastasia.